Hair metal ain't literature, but it sounds good

It was 1990 and life was good. The blissful pre-grunge days when Hair ruled the land. For the most part it was a fun-loving, partying benevolent world of booze, video models, decent, sometimes spectacular fretwork, and driving rhythms. A man could dance in those days.

But each era has exceptions. Power ballads almost ruined it for masculinity with girl-friendly slow songs becoming monster hits and getting major airplay. At least a man could slow dance then.

Every few months, a song came along that was "different", quirky even. In this example, the song is Uncle Tom's Cabin by Warrant from the Cherry Pie album (yes, I own it.)

I know what you're thinking if you are unfamiliar with the song. How could a bunch of hard partying high school graduates write a popular hair metal tune about Harriet Beecher Stowe's classic novel of the antebellum South? Well, they couldn't. So they didn't.

This song, as you will see, is all about an evil swamp sherriff and his misdeeds. Poor Uncle Tom and the narrator are unwitting witnesses to the aftermath of his crime. The video is kind enough to give us the backstory midway through, even if the lyrics do not.

Jani Lane, the lead singer, wrote the song. Warrant is polished and plays the tune well. A fine example of hair metal telling a story that didn't have anything to do with swilling bourbon, objectifying women, or "being on the road."

If I could work those missing elements back into the story, I think it could be adapted for the big screen.