Secrets to Happiness: Secret #15

This started out as a somewhat whiny post about something that I seem to lack in my life. Then I reconsidered because I actually do have a few of these, they just aren't ideal. What am I talking about? That's the next secret:

Have a sanctuary

I'm not talking about a literal sanctuary with a pulpit and a large choir standing behind you. I'm talking figuratively, though I still mean a concrete place or places.

On most days, my sanctuaries are:

1) My office at work: not perfect because I am subject to interruptions (which is ok, after all, I am at work); this place works best after 5 pm when most folks have left for the day

2) My car during the commute: I have a fairly long commute (about 35 miles) and I use this commute in a number of ways. I listen to music or comedy, or, if I am lonely, I make phone calls (yes, I talk and drive...I have a Bluetooth earpiece that I only use for this particular activity, I feel stupid wearing it during the day,) or I think about things. This latter activity is what makes it a decent sanctuary

3) My time in the dining room or breakfast nook in the morning hours before the rest of the family wakes up; this is usually the time that I post here, too

4) Like most everyone, the water closet or the bathroom serves as a decent sanctuary. Unfortunately, to use this particular sanctuary usually requires a valid reason for being there (though I have faked it, just to get some quiet time...ssshhhh! Don't let Jocelyn know)

Those are my most common places. Some of you use these same places or you have a study/office at home, or you use a library, or maybe you go outside to a garden or just on a contemplative walk or bike ride.

I should explain what I mean by sanctuary.

For me, a sanctuary is a place where I can be alone with my thoughts, uninterrupted. I love other people. I am a pretty decent socializer, but each day, I need time to myself. I think we all do. This isn't time spent doing something alone, such as watching TV or playing a video game. This is time spent thinking or reading (not pulp novels (and, yes, I mean King, Steel, Rowling, Grisham, Grafton and all of the other blockbuster writers,) which I enjoy, but they don't count for this activity) things that trigger contemplative or critical thinking. I would also include creative endeavors such as writing, painting, sculpting or composing. Add crafts and technology, too, if they don't involve just following instructions.

We need to tap into ourselves and understand ourselves. Having a sanctuary is necessary to be able to do that effectively.

So, let me explain how this not-so-secret secret popped up. I started Christmas break back on the 20th. Before that I was fairly swamped with a particularly nasty problem at work which had been sapping most of my creative energy. After starting vacation, I was immediately thrust into holiday preparations. The goose is my responsibility (see previous post). The kids and I needed to do our annual foray into the shopping world for Jocelyn's gifts. This is excellent quality time with the three of us and it gives Jocelyn time to wrap.

Then there are parties and visits and the holiday itself. Then there are car problems and house problems and trips to plan and to cancel. And through all of this I don't have access to sanctuaries (1) and (2) above, because I am not going to work. My most important sanctuary, (3) was taken from me for about a week because the tables in both the dining room and nook were either in use for wrapping or holding precious holiday decor.

I don't have an office here at home. Well, we have an office, but it is used primarily by Jocelyn and Monica. It isn't my space. It does not work for me. I can't think in there.

I certainly couldn't spend hours in the bathroom.

After a while, this has taken a big toll on me mentally. I haven't been writing. I needed a sanctuary. I need a permanent one, too. But that is another activity for another day.