Halloween tips to keep you happy

I have found the following Halloween safety tips to be very helpful with my family. Feel free to adapt them to your situation.

1) don't wear heels or strange shoes or accessorize with anything that I'll have to carry,

2) use the bathroom before we leave,

3) don't eat anything until we return home and I've had a chance to rummage through your candy and pick out all the Kit Kats,

4) don't shine the flashlight directly into my eyes,

5) you can run ahead and hide in the bushes, but only if I know about it and you plan on scaring your mother,

6) if you swing that (axe, spear, rifle, sword, morningstar, mace, cudgel) one more time, we're done,

7) and see that house in the picture? Even if the light is on, we are not stopping there.

By following these simple guidelines, our family has had many safe and happy Halloweens.

May yours be happy, too.