I think that I'm hate-free

(post-it note cartoon from Savage Chickens...hilarious stuff)

I can honestly say that as of right now, I don't hate anyone. And I am sure that the feeling is not mutual.

I know that I have upset a lot of people over the years, usually via an insensitive comment or by inactivity on my part, like never returning a call or writing a letter or sending an email.

It's always puzzling when someone gets so upset that they stop talking to someone else. I can't imagine doing that. Sure, there are people that I'll never be friends with, but I would never go out of my way to avoid them. And I cannot imagine (any longer) being so upset with someone that I would think of them as an enemy.

Now, I'm talking on a personal level. But even on a general level, I can't hate a group of people. What I really hate isn't so much the person as it is the behavior. That's what matters. Everyone is capable of good and bad. I like it when people do good things. (To be sure, there is a tough discussion about good and bad and right and wrong that would fit nicely right here, but I'm not going to tackle that at this time.)

When I say on a personal level, I mean when someone says, "I hate X." X, in this case, is another specific person. I don't get it (any more). Think of all the effort that actively hating requires. I've said this on the blog before, but I believe the opposite of love is indifference. The absence of love is not hate. It seems that hate requires as much emotion and effort as love. To hate, someone needs to be on your mind. They need to have hurt you in some way, or like the chickens above suggest, to personify something that you do not like.

I used to hate. I've been angry at people before, but there was only one person that I ever really hated. I've long since given up that hatred. It was a complete waste of time. Unfortunately, I still live with the legacy that my hatred caused. I wouldn't wish that sort of self-destructive feeling on anyone.

(And, no, I didn't physically harm anyone...I'm not an ex-con...sheesh. I'm estranged from family members to whom I would love to be close. And, I'm too stupid or selfish, for now, to overcome it. Maybe, there will come a point when I'll be able to write about it here. I'd like to empty all of this stuff out and have a look at it dispassionately.)

But I don't hate anyone. And I can't imagine ever feeling that way about anyone again. I don't know if that is normal or if I am suppressing something. When I set out to write this post, I thought that I would be writing something uplifting and positive. It started when I read on another blog about someone having a "mortal enemy" which I thought was a bit over the top. However, it led me to think that what the person meant was that they passionately hated this other human being. How? Why?

Now I'm wondering if that is normal and whether being hate-free is abnormal.

I'm just confusing myself (and probably you, too.) I think I mean that we can only be capable of hate if we open ourselves up to hurt (again this is all on a personal level.) Or maybe my hate has just taken another form. Maybe what I am labeling "indifference" is really a low-key hate. I don't need to set someone up as an "enemy" but rather I just dismiss them from my world of concern. But even as I say that, I would never be uncivil to the person. It all comes back to disliking the particular behavior, not the person.

Is this making any sense? Maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep.

You have someone you hate? Do you find yourself wondering why you do?