Secrets to happiness: Secret #13

The most obvious physical not-so-secret secret out there has to be this one, yet most people either don't know it, or they believe that it's only for athletes, or they are really truly concerned with the results. We'll deal with these shortly, but first the secret:

Exercise anaerobically

That means, besides the walking (or other preferred movement) that you should be doing, you need some sort of intense resistance-type training.

This can come in many forms. Weightlifting is very common. If you are a runner, you might try interval training with hard sprints built in to your normal jog/run. For folks just getting started, you might like isometric exercises.

Now, to be sure, I am not a certified fitness expert and I am not a doctor (insert joke about where and when I play one here) and therefore I cannot dispense advice that you should be taking at face value. Before you begin a new program of exercise, you really should visit your doctor to make sure that you can handle it and to understand what is reasonable and safe for you.

There are a couple of big benefits to this type of exercise: you'll be and feel stronger and you'll increase your metabolism (and might actually decrease your appetite.) More details can be found here.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Hey, Happy Guy, I don't want to get big like this guy here."

Ok. I can guarantee that will not be a problem. First, this photo has been "enhanced" with the help of a popular software program. Second, bodybuilders are professionals who spend years working out and dieting to build huge muscles and eliminate body fat. It is their job. It isn't yours. You won't look like that, ever. Finally, you are not required to take steroids or growth hormone. You just need to exercise.

You might feel a bit sore after you first begin. You shouldn't feel too sore, though. That is a sure sign you've over done it. This will likely be a problem for you if you are male and under 40 and still believe that your body can do whatever it is you've decided it can do. Heh heh. If this should happen, be sure to rest an extra day or two. No reason to hurt yourself.

After you start though, you should feel immediately stronger. Next thing you know, you're body will act as it's own furnace burning away those extra stored calories you have taken on over time. You'll stand straighter, the backache will disappear and your knees will feel good. You'll be able to do more. You'll be predisposed to feeling good. It'll make you happier.

A quick personal note: Monica and I took Suzzie to have her staples and stitches removed yesterday morning. On the drive home, I stopped at a fitness store and bought an over the door chin up bar. For reasons that I will have to detail later, the garage will not be completed this week. There is a Goldbergian series of things that need to take place in order to move things around to their proper locations. Until those things happen, the garage can't be used as a gym.

So, because I have to do something, I'm doing the next best thing. I'm going to follow this plan from Simplefit for bodyweight exercises. I will be starting at Level 1. Monica will be following the plan with me. This is why I bought the chin bar. If you are interested in doing this, too, I'm logged in there as happyguy. I believe that you can share workout logs and support each other as you go along. Remember, this type of exercise is not a competition.

(Weightlifting, bodybuilding, and powerlifting are the competitive sports that come from lifting weights, but we're not training for those. You could though, if you really like it. Amateurs compete in these sports based on age, sex, and body size. The links provided are to the international governing bodies of the respective sport. Look for "members" or "national federation" links to find your country's governing body. They'll have links to local clubs and competitions.)

So, despite that laundry list of chores that I have to accomplish this weekend, I will be doing the following today:

For 20 minutes count how many sets of the following I can do: 1 pull-up, 2 push-ups, 3 squats. If I go slowly, like the website says to do, then I figure I'll be able to do 15 to 18 sets.

Don't forget to subscribe if you like what you're reading here at the Happiness Notebook.

Let me know about your favorite anaerobic exercises. Also, if you have a site to recommend, please let us know in the comments.

Vacation chores

This isn't my bathroom. You can tell by a handful of clues:

1) the bricks are on the outside of my house
2) we don't have hardwoods in the bathroom
3) that single sink can't accomodate me, let alone Jocelyn
4) lilies on the sink are considered an impractical luxury around here
5) wrong color scheme
6) see that shower door? I haven't installed it yet.

We have an old shower door that I am replacing today. I can hardly wait. The one that I am installing looks a lot like this one, only with nickel edges. And because no one knocks before they walk through any door in this house, we're getting pebbled glass instead of clear.

Among other things on my to-do list:

1) winterize RV (including oil change)
2) assemble fire pit and place pavers on deck for safety (done)
3) fix hinges on "toy" shed doors so that we have an effective, lockable, "bike" shed (done)
4) finish cleaning my part of the closet (not quite done)
5) pick up leaves (not even started...huge job...be sure to "involve" kids so that we have a little qualilty time)
6) supervise handyman (?!?) when he comes over to replace rotted wood in our back door frame (I have neither the desire nor the tools to do this one myself)
7) find time to take the kids out to the driving range and hit a bucket of balls (we gave them their first golfing lessons a few weeks ago and now Monica won't shut up about it...at least the driving range has heated tees)
8) finish cleaning garage so that I can restart a weightlifting program (the essence of futility, but more on that in another post)
9) and unless I forget, I must complete this shower door project today

So, I spent time on these efforts and other little things yesterday and therefore I didn't post. I was somewhat out of it all day, anyway. I can always tell when I'm not completely present when I read posts a few days later.

You know what I would rather be doing today? Making that drive to DC to visit the National Gallery. That's what I would like to do. That and have a best selling novel pop spontaneously out of my head and into a pre-formatted Word document that I could send unsolicited to various agents only to have a bidding war among major publishing houses and studio executives clamoring for the movie rights.

As it is though, I just hope the box that the shower door comes in fits in the back of the mini-van.

Happy Thanksgiving! (in the USA)

It's late. The tryptophan should be kicking in soon. We're tired and stuffed.

Hope you are, too.

I also hope that you took the time to say out loud what you are thankful for this year. And I hope that included good friends and family.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I'll be posting tomorrow with an update on Suzzie and the closet and the garage...er...cleanup. Two "physical" not-so-secret secrets to happiness are going to posted this weekend. Yeah, you should be concerned.

Thank you for reading my writing and special thanks to those of you who have taken the time to comment.

Midweek mixtape review

Four tunes suggested this week:

Enya - Orinoco Flow

John Denver - The Eagle and the Hawk

Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire

Peter Frampton - Do You Feel Like We Do (live version)

Do you like these songs? Do you have any to add to the mixtape this week?

Let us know in the comments.

Redeeming her Christmas present, finally

Yesterday, I didn't post early because we had to get the kids off to school and then get Jocelyn to Legends in Carytown.

The kids and I bought her a gift card last year for a massage and a facial. She never scheduled her apppointment. I finally forced the issue, knowing that I would be home this week.

After three hours, I picked her up and took her home. She napped. She had a good day. She looked so radiant after the facial treatment that she had that first trimester glow.

As we walked to the car, Jocelyn kept babbling about the "next" time she goes. Oh boy. Maybe it was a good thing that she put it off for nearly a year.

Gift tip: there is absolutely nothing wrong or unthoughtful about giving your significant other some quality spa time. I've never heard Jocelyn complain about it being a waste of time or painful or anything but blissful. As the giver of the gift, be prepared to shuttle the recipient back and forth to the spa. Depending on the level of service, they probably won't be in shape to drive afterwards.

Expect bodywork to be a secret to happiness soon.

Do you have a spa experience, good or bad, that you'd like to share?

If you like what you're reading, please consider subscribing to the Happiness Notebook.

Binding comics

One of the things that gives me great pleasure is sitting in my chair and reading a novel. I, like many people, enjoy the heft and substantialness of a hardback book.

I am also an avid comic book fan. If you managed to muddle through my 100 nouns post, you saw that I name a couple of comic book series as things that I enjoy. I prefer adult-oriented works. Vertigo comics, an inprint of DC, publishes books for adults. I have been slowly having my individual comics collected and custom bound in hardcovers.

I have about 18 so far. Last year I was doing a lot of traveling for work and I slacked on prepping and sending my projects to the bindery. As part of my closet cleaning activity, I'm starting up again. Four soon-to-be-books will be on their way to the bindery in Omaha soon. There are binders all over the place., but I use these guys because they have a track record with comics, they're reasonably priced, and a fine fellow named David Banks acts as the middleman. He does a fantastic job and he does it because he loves the hobby.

The book pictured is one of mine. It's the last one that I had bound (last December!): Sandman Mystery Theatre. The color scheme including the foil imprint and the bookmark ribbon are my choice, as is the design and content of the spine and cover. There are many possible combinations. I try to choose a color scheme that is unique to the series I am having bound. Swamp Thing, for example, will be green cover with yellow foil. Black Orchid will have a light purple cover with black foil. Preacher will either be black cover/white foil or vice versa; I haven't decided.

Anyone out there read comics or graphic novels? A nice way to read comics, especially those from Vertigo, is to purchase the trade paperbacks at your local book or comics store. These collect one or more complete storylines and they contain no ads. Many of them have little extras such as additional comments from the author or pages from the artist's sketchbook.

If you know me and you're game, I'm willing to lend a title or two. That's another big benefit to having them bound. They're easy to transport and loan out. I'd recommend Lucifer, of course, my favorite, but SMT (see above) is good, too. A single volume complete series like The Losers could be just the thing, too, a modern day spy/action/adventure story.

(I guess that protesting that I am not a geek is not going to be very convincing at this point. I certainly don't feel like one. I don't spend more than 30 minutes at the comics store and most of the time I am in and out in five or ten minutes. A bookstore consumes far more time for me. I don't read superhero comics and I don't play card games such as Magic. I'm just a guy who likes literature. Today I purchase Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. More on that and an explanation about why I was out and about in the next post.)

Proto-hair from Britain

Formed from former players of Humble Pie and Motorhead, the band Fastway released their eponymous debut in 1983 (yes, I own it.) My favorite song on the record is this one, Say What You Will.

These guys really hit at the leading edge of the hair metal craze, but this song fits in comfortably with the genre. It has the thundering rhythm, the high pitched vocals, the guitar hooks, and the lyrics that barely make sense. This is ready made for the arena and everyone can wave their lighters and sing along.

Unfortunately, this video ends right as the final words "and you will!" hit with loads of reverb. You can use your imagination.

The video is high camp with mannequin like women in white jumpsuits driving a truck through all sorts of weather. Apparently for the purpose of getting out of town so that they can blow up their cargo. I missed the reason they do it. Maybe you can let me know after you watch it.

If any of you are hair metal fans, you might be wondering where are the bands like Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Motley Crue (I'm not doing the umlauts), Poison, etc. I don't know. So far, their songs haven't jumped out at me. I'm sure we'll get to them.

A pseudoscientific excuse for our moods

As you can plainly see here, according to my personal biorhythm chart, I am on a downward intellectual cycle and I am just rising out of a deep valley of physical difficulty.

Note, too, that I am starting a precipitous plunge in the emotional arena.

I don't put much stock in biorhythm charting or astrology or anything that seeks to predict behavior, moods, etc.


But that shouldn't stop us from finding them fun and interesting. If anything, reading a horoscope can offer decent advice, no matter which sign you are reading. And a biorhythm chart can force you to think about how your own intellectual, mental, and emotional aspects work together to form your personality.


We all have good and bad days--and that good and bad is usually a subjective evaluation based on our mood and perspective at any given time. Unlike what biorhythms suggest, we don't have a strict periodicity to these personality aspects.

But we should be aware of what affects them. A good night's sleep can make the everything peak. Poor diet can affect everything negatively. A simple illness might not have an intellectual effect, but it could be devastating physically.

I like this second chart. It takes pairs of the primary three and averages them to create a secondary chart of mastery, wisdom, and passion. Mastery is a mix of physical and intellectual, wisdom is intellectual and emotional, and passion is physical and emotional. Things aren't looking great for me for the next few days. Please bear that in mind as you read my posts.

Chart your own biorhythms and share your results. If you have a favorite pseudoscientific way of viewing your future (for recreational purposes only, people...sheesh) then let us know about it in the comments.

Here's a prediction for you: I looked into my crystal ball and saw a hair video coming to the Happiness Notebook later today...remember, forewarned is forearmed.

I exploded and good and bad things happened

I violated my own personal parenting Second Law last night. I verbally exploded. It was pretty loud. I have a very strong voice and I used it.

On Monica. In front of everyone.

The cause was simple. I gave in to my frustration at how Monica was treating her brother. Gabe was also being a little punky, but I had calmly told him to cut it out and he appeared to be listening. Monica was taking a series of very small things and making it a much bigger deal. I observed and failed to suppress my anger at the behavior. Just like Monica was failing to suppress her dislike of Gabe's actions.

Only because I am the responsible adult, there was no one to explode on me and tell me to shut up. No one spoke. My tirade lasted for a minute or less, but I am sure it seemed longer for Monica. She teared up. I seethed for a good five minutes after the explosion.

We quietly ate dinner. After that, I apologized to Monica. Then we went upstairs and talked. She told me that she had been hungry and tired and her grumpiness was being taken out on Gabe. They had spent the whole afternoon seeing a production of Oliver and only had a few snacks during intermission. Monica needs food at she enters the "bottomless pit" stage of puberty.

I explained my frustration at her nearly constant negative treatment of her brother--which I suppose is somewhat normal(?)--and the fact that I let her room remain a shambles while she uses IM, texting and telephones to stay constantly connected to her middle school social network. Monica is also afraid to let go of stuff. She sees keeping everything as no big deal.

Part of my explosion included stating baldly that we would be moving, but not until the house was emptied of non-essentials. I was not moving to a larger house just to have a place to put everything. And we were not going to fill a larger home with stuff either. They would be allowed to mourn the loss of their junk but they would not be allowed to refuse to let it go.

It was an impassioned speech to say the least, but delivered too loudly. The message was received though. I believe that everyone took it seriously.

So the bad thing that happened was a I lost it. This is something that I would not tolerate in my children, yet I displayed the behavior not just in front of them, but at them. This double standard is unacceptable at their age. I should have thought of a better way. Like very serious, very calm talk.

What good came of it? Well, I did apologize, which demonstrated better behavior and showed that I do respect them as individuals. The kids realize that I care about their treatment of each other. They know that the state of their personal spaces is a major concern.

Also, and I don't mean this flippantly or facetiously, I did dissipate a lot of negative energy. Unfortunately, in front of them. On the plus or minus side, depending on your perspective, my voice is quite gravelly and soft this morning as my vocal cords recover. Yeah, I was that loud.

Geez, what a bad weekend for humility, tact, and friendliness. I'm human. It's the attempts that count. If I keep trying then at some point, it'll be second nature. I'm not there yet.

If you care to hear admissions (confessions?) of foolish behavior on occasion then I encourage you to consider subscribing to the Happiness Notebook. It's free and easy, just click on the link.

If you want to berate me, offer advice or sympathy, leave words of encouragement for Monica, or confess to your own similar behavior, leave me a comment or send me an email.

Happiness Notebook Mixtape Project needs your songs

There's a growing list of songs and compositions on the right hand side of this blog. These are tunes that people find lift their spirits making them smile, laugh, dance, or just plain feel good.

You know one or two songs that do that for you.

Tell us what they are and we'll add them to the mixtape.

Just leave the title and artist in the comments. Let me know if it is a particular recording so that I can post an excerpt later in the week.

Thanks again to everyone that has participated.

A week long project: garage and closet clutter

I am not at liberty to show you photos of my garage. For that I need permission from my life partner and I can guarantee that until this project is finished, that permission will not be granted.

We have an attached two car garage on the north side of the house. We have never used it for cars and we never will. That isn't the problem. The problem is we've made it a de facto storage unit for pretty much anything large.

But even more importantly, it is the "fitness center" of the house. For a period from spring of 2002 to winter of 2005, I actually lifted weights regularly. Jocelyn even started. We both looked and felt great because of it. (We'll cover even more benefits of a simple weightlifting routine after I get my garage cleaned out.)

The good news is, the clutter in the garage is big. By that I mean, it is large empty boxes, storage crates, and other large items. That means with a little effort, we should be able to conquer the clutter fairly quickly. (Once this is finished, I'm hoping to convince Jocelyn that we should post some before and after photos.)

The motive here is to start the process of emptying this house of its useless and anchoring clutter and to take advantage of a decent home gym set up.

We've been kicking around the idea of moving. The main reason would be to find a larger house. I'm only interested in doing that if we empty this house of every unnecessary thing we can find. I want a larger house only to have more privacy from older, larger children, and to have people over for extended stays (like grandparents, for example) and not have everyone be underfoot.

So, I'm off this week. Job 1, according to Jocelyn, will be to prepare for a family Thanksgiving, followed by decluttering our closet and bedroom. My job 1 will be to get the garage cleaned out and then follow Jocelyn's priorities. We'll see how those things mesh. (We also have to winterize the RV. Don't want the water lines to freeze and have to replace the hot water tank.)

We aren't professional organizers (clearly not) but I'll still post what we've done and what we've learned as we tackle these tasks.

I anticipate feeling much happier once this work is completed.

Do you have a decluttering project looming? What are you going to do about it?

Have you recently completed decluttering? How did you feel afterwards?

Let me know in the comments.