I think that I'm hate-free

(post-it note cartoon from Savage Chickens...hilarious stuff)

I can honestly say that as of right now, I don't hate anyone. And I am sure that the feeling is not mutual.

I know that I have upset a lot of people over the years, usually via an insensitive comment or by inactivity on my part, like never returning a call or writing a letter or sending an email.

It's always puzzling when someone gets so upset that they stop talking to someone else. I can't imagine doing that. Sure, there are people that I'll never be friends with, but I would never go out of my way to avoid them. And I cannot imagine (any longer) being so upset with someone that I would think of them as an enemy.

Now, I'm talking on a personal level. But even on a general level, I can't hate a group of people. What I really hate isn't so much the person as it is the behavior. That's what matters. Everyone is capable of good and bad. I like it when people do good things. (To be sure, there is a tough discussion about good and bad and right and wrong that would fit nicely right here, but I'm not going to tackle that at this time.)

When I say on a personal level, I mean when someone says, "I hate X." X, in this case, is another specific person. I don't get it (any more). Think of all the effort that actively hating requires. I've said this on the blog before, but I believe the opposite of love is indifference. The absence of love is not hate. It seems that hate requires as much emotion and effort as love. To hate, someone needs to be on your mind. They need to have hurt you in some way, or like the chickens above suggest, to personify something that you do not like.

I used to hate. I've been angry at people before, but there was only one person that I ever really hated. I've long since given up that hatred. It was a complete waste of time. Unfortunately, I still live with the legacy that my hatred caused. I wouldn't wish that sort of self-destructive feeling on anyone.

(And, no, I didn't physically harm anyone...I'm not an ex-con...sheesh. I'm estranged from family members to whom I would love to be close. And, I'm too stupid or selfish, for now, to overcome it. Maybe, there will come a point when I'll be able to write about it here. I'd like to empty all of this stuff out and have a look at it dispassionately.)

But I don't hate anyone. And I can't imagine ever feeling that way about anyone again. I don't know if that is normal or if I am suppressing something. When I set out to write this post, I thought that I would be writing something uplifting and positive. It started when I read on another blog about someone having a "mortal enemy" which I thought was a bit over the top. However, it led me to think that what the person meant was that they passionately hated this other human being. How? Why?

Now I'm wondering if that is normal and whether being hate-free is abnormal.

I'm just confusing myself (and probably you, too.) I think I mean that we can only be capable of hate if we open ourselves up to hurt (again this is all on a personal level.) Or maybe my hate has just taken another form. Maybe what I am labeling "indifference" is really a low-key hate. I don't need to set someone up as an "enemy" but rather I just dismiss them from my world of concern. But even as I say that, I would never be uncivil to the person. It all comes back to disliking the particular behavior, not the person.

Is this making any sense? Maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep.

You have someone you hate? Do you find yourself wondering why you do?

Turning to gold, our first new stock

Is this a real company? Goldcorp, Inc.? Yes, they are very real and well respected. What do they do? They're alchemists. They take ordinary iron and lead and convert it to gold. It's an amazing process that will change the world economy.

Ah, no. I'm kidding. They are a "materials extraction" company. That means that they own and operate mines. Here is the official description from Fidelity:

Goldcorp, Inc. engages in the acquisition, exploration, development, and operation of precious metal properties in the Americas and Australia. It focuses on gold, silver, and copper.

There you have it. Most all of their activity is in the Americas. There's more gold here than even Coronado could imagine.

So, why did I take a position (buy) this stock? Well, I wanted to diversify from owning only my own company's stock (which I will not be discussing, though it is an outstanding stock.) There are many technology companies that I am interested in, but I didn't want to totally focus there either. So, I looked around for an industry with a positive outlook and then chose a couple of the best companies in that industry. Gold mining is a sub industry of materials extraction. Goldcorp, a Canadian company(!), is one of the largest and most successful companies in this sector.

I'm not going to delve into the numbers like P/E Ratio and revenue projections and EPS, even though I did research these things. I read about the company, checked out their website, read a variety of analysts' opinions, used my common sense about running a business, and decided to roll the dice. The stock could be a little overvalued, currently hovering around $33 per share, but, what the heck, I want to own a piece of a gold mining company. So, I bought 90 shares.

When I can find a decent stock ticker widget, I'll slap it on the right side and we can follow these investments.

In the meantime, here are a few rules: I don't panic. I'm in on this stock for at least one year. I might add to the number of shares as the year rolls along, but I do not intend to sell. This particular stock is fairly stable, but fluctuations are always possible. We can't get too excited if it moves up and we can't get too crazy if it drops in value. Sometimes the best thing to do is to periodically forget that you have any savings or investments. Tinkering can be the worst thing. Every trade costs money and those costs bite into any capital gains. We're going to watch.

(I realize, after re-reading this, that I am actually tinkering with my investment savings. But I am doing that to correct a fundamental flaw of investing: I had all of my stock investments in a single company. Feels good when they are rocking and rolling, but can be devastating when things go bad. And just wait until I build a bond ladder next month!)

Anyone out there have any experience with Goldcorp? Or the gold mining industry? If you are an insider at Goldcorp, please ignore these questions.

Anyone know of a good widget that will work with Blogger?

This weekend I will be joyful

(Image is from the Joyful Voices of Inspiration, a gospel choir from Massachusetts. I've said this before, but even though I am not a Christian, I really love the sound and the feelings that gospel music produces. The feeling fits with this post.)

Hey, I've tried to focus on good and right behavior before: tact, friendliness, and humility (humbleness?) have come and gone with varying degrees of success (or in the case of tact, failure.)

This weekend, I decided that doing the obvious, considering the time of year, makes a lot of sense. So this weekend, I will be joyful. So much is contained in the word joy.

Joy is that inner sense of happiness, contentment, right-feeling, lovingness and lovableness. Being joyful means that I will tap into those feelings, that I really do have (I'm not faking anything here) and attacking life with the energy and emotion that comes from them.

But maybe I'm cheating because I'm taking the day off from work...

Nah. I've got things to do. No lazing around the television or burrowing into a book for me today. I've got shopping to do. I've got to reorg my sock drawer again (I have far too many for only two feet.) It's cold and foggy outside. There's little chores to be done. I just need to tap those positive feelings and stay joyful.

The real test, though, comes when something bad happens. Like, say, I get a flat tire on my Honda.

(Oh, that's right, I haven't told you about my 05 Honda Accord Hybrid. Lovely car. Lots of power, roomy, comfortable, all the bells and whistles, navigation, XM...except...get this...I didn't notice when I bought it because I, like you, would take this for granted...it does not have a...this is embarrassing...it does not have a spare tire. Nothing. Not even one of those fake hard rubber ones. Don't think I don't think about that when setting out on a long trip, at night, in the rain.)

So, when I get a flat tire in the Honda, will I be joyful? Well, that won't be the emotion that I lead with, but I should be able to remain positive and upbeat. I'll need to call someone...Honda roadside assistance comes to mind. I'll have the opportunity to be still and think about the trade off of a hybrid versus having a spare tire. Mostly, though, I'll be happy enough and smart enough not to let the inconvenience of the problem ruin my day and my feelings.

I will tell you that this particular condition makes me sensitive about checking things like treadwear and tire pressure.

Being joyful is about appreciation of what you have and who you are. It's about feeling the sadness and the unhappiness over something and then letting it go. It's about understanding that what happens to us, good or bad, is an opportunity for personal growth. Hey, if you have to do an unpleasant task, at least have the decency to tackle the task with joy. Doing it with negative feelings really harms no one but you.

Let's see how I hold up this weekend.

Today is investing day...just because

Ah, geez, here's the sucky part of money. In order to do anything with it, you have to save some first or receive a windfall (like a gambling win or being the missing heir.) Chances are fairly decent that you'll have to take the savings route.

Now, I don't want you to think that I am assuming that you do not or have not saved. Many of us do. But it's tough to invest if you don't have any money to do so. It's also difficult to invest in somewhat illiquid assets if you might need the money. The flip side of that is the problem that many of us have when cash is available: we feel compelled to use it.

There's this need to save so that we can make money with money, but then we have this need to acquire with the money we save. It's a game that can be hard to play, but only if you pay too much attention. The best way to save is to set it up automatically and forget about for six months. (This is where I remind you that I am not an investment professional.)

For a lot of people the best way to do this is to set up some sort of automatic payment to a separate savings account (and later to a money market account.) When you have saved about 3 to 6 months worth of income (and this is actually very simple to do, it just takes some time) then you can start thinking about investments. Of course, you need to save for those, too, and one of the best ways is to take advantage is a 401K, if you work for a company that offers one. Self-employed folks have options, too. But I'm not self-employed so I don't know much about that.

And once you develop the habit of blind saving, you shouldn't give it up (the IRS takes advantage of our capability to do this by automatic payroll deductions for income taxes.) Keep saving even after you hit the six months of income target. That extra money can be invested or you can use the excess to splurge on travel or some other things you've always wanted.

There are hundreds of books out there on investing and I can't really recommend any of them because I'm not a big reader of that type of work. The important part is saving. After that, reading about the types of investments and becomes much more important. Many websites contain this info, too. My favorites are MSN Money and Fidelity.

The whole reason for this post, besides the fact that my mom had this same piggy bank, though in a more amberish hue (and I chipped the protruding opening for the coin) is to set us up for talking about some of the investing experiments that I am going to tackle. I've been saving for years. I have some investments already, but I want to do a few things I have never done before. If this sounds a recipe for loss, well, maybe it is. Let's find out how much.

Don't worry--the blog will remain random and haphazard as ever.

Thanks for reading. If you want to subscribe, you can do it for free, via email or a reader.

The history books of my youth

So, anonymous told us his or her favorite kid's book and I had to find out what it was. Published in 1950 and written by Morrell Gipson. She tells the story of a bear who sits on all the other animals' houses until karma catches up with him. Apparently, Gary Larsen, creator of The Far Side, is a big fan, too.

I need to find this book, if only because I had never heard of it.

Does anyone remember the series of American history books published back in the 1960s and written by Earl Schenck Meiers? It was the Golden Book History of the United States. It was in 10 volumes with an additional two volume bibliographic index. My mother bought them one at a time from either Kroger or some other store. For the longest time, we were missing volume 12, but my cousin had it, so I finally was able to read about great Americans M-Z. I'll never forget Vladimir Zworykin and how confused I was that he was considered a famous American. But these books were published in 1963 and the Cold War was raging as strongly as it ever would, so claiming this guy and his incredible invention (which is still in use today, but is slowly being replaced by better technology) was pretty important, especially because he was born in Russia.

I read and reread these books. I learned more basic American history from these than I ever would in school. When I think about it, most of my knowledge on the topic is rooted and framed by these books. They served as a guide for all the history books that I would consume as a kid. This is when I first learned that not all history books agree on all of the facts. This is probably the time I developed a taste for lists and organizing information.

I learned about Bjarni Herjulfsson and Leif Erikson and the naming of Greenland and Iceland, Columbus, DeSoto, Cortez, and LaSalle; Plymouth and Jamestown and how each colony was formed; Bunker Hill, Benedict Arnold, and the Declaration of Independence; the Barbary pirates, Aaron Burr, and the building of canals; the lopsided Mexican War and the despicable Dred Scott case (which jumped into my mind unannounced when Kansas played Missouri a couple of weeks ago in college football); Shiloh, Gettysburg and "...with malice toward none..." & "Now he belongs to the ages"; Custer's Last Stand, the Haymarket riot, and the Johnstown flood; the rise of labor, the busting of monopolies and Teddy Roosevelt; Pancho Villa, John J. Pershing and Wilson's Fourteen Points; Teapot Dome, Prohibition and the Crash of '29; World War II; nucear bombs, the Marshall Plan, and the space race...

There it ends because we hadn't even made it to the moon by this point.

These books were loaded with paintings (by Alton S. Tobey) and photographs. They were the prototypes for Dorling Kindersley and other similar publishers. Most, if not all, books had a large fold out painting. I used to leaf through the books just to look at the art. Geez, do I miss these books. I think my mother still has them. I know that I've asked for them before, but she hasn't wanted to part with them. I don't blame her. But wasn't I the primary reader of these books? (Click on the link above to take you to the artist's website and the covers of all 12 volumes, plus some samples from the volumes.)

Anyone else read these?

Creating a Will Not Do List

We all have To Do Lists. Whether we keep them on paper or in the laptop or in our heads, we have a checklist of activities large and small that we want to accomplish. Some of these are mundane, like filling the gas tank or planning our lunches (can you tell it's morning for me?) Some are large life goals like getting that Spring Break trip planned or getting that cholesterol down.

Then there are those nebulous fantasy dreamy goals that we never seem to take action on but we claim, either publicly or privately, that we want to do. Examples include: writing a novel, losing some certain amount of weight, or taking an around the world cruise. Things we could all accomplish for sure, but we don't break it down into small easily achievable steps and so we never make any progress toward these goals.

We can talk about the details of setting and achieving goals at some other time. Right now, I want to clear my mind of stuff that I am certain that I will never do, nor do I particularly desire to do these things. Of course, the list is infinite in size, but I'll limit this to 5 things that commonly crops up on these lists.

I will never:

1) climb Everest (or any other mountain, except maybe Kilimanjaro): I consider this far too dangerous and expensive for the potential upside. Who do I share the experience with? "Yeah, that's great, Doug. Yeah. How cold was it? Yeah. Wow, I can't imagine. So, how about those Patriots?"

2) skydive: Certainly easy enough and affordable, but I just don't have the desire. Maybe it's my irrational fear of heights, but it has never really been one of those things that I feel like I have to do. (Go ahead and add base jumping, bungee jumping, tightrope walking, and trapeze work right here.)

3) try out for American Idol (or any reality show): I've never seen the aforementioned show and therefore I am left out of many pop culture conversations, but, really, I am not about to place myself at the mercy of producers of any reality show.

4) become the CEO of a Fortune 1000 company: I'm passed the age where devoting my life to a company is worth the millions in compensation.

5) ride a motorcycle for pleasure: it has never interested me. If I want the wind in my hair, I can put the top down. I like relaxing in a vehicle. Somehow a motorcycle doesn't seem like a fun way to travel. Notice I said "for pleasure" because if I had to escape the bad guys, then I would hop right on.

I feel good knowing that I won't have to plan or worry about doing any of these things.

Am I wrong about these things? Have I severely limited the thrill of living? Do you know why Kilimanjaro is still a possibility?

Reminiscing on childhood games

Everyone should own a set of their favorite picture books.

This is one of mine. Ezra Jack Keats wrote and illustrated books that he set in city environments. Whistle for Willie and Hi, Cat! were two other favorites of mine. The Snowy Day in particular taught me how to play in the snow.

I feel at home when I read these books. The games the kids play with cardboard boxes in Whistle for Willie were just the types of things we did. We used to play all sorts of games on our little deadend street in Cincinnati, especially when we lived at 1015 Rapid Ave. We lived in the upper floor of a duplex. My older sister and I had some great times there. (Aimee would not be born for a couple more years, after we had moved to a more rural area in Clermont County [which, sadly, is now a non-descript bustling suburb...boring.])

We played Kick the Can, Freeze Tag, and Hide and Go Seek. Very common games. We also played Kickball in the street and Pickle on the sidewalk. There was a slight slope on the street and a ball could get away from you and go down the storm sewer. We were very adept at levering the sewer lid off. I was one of the smaller kids, so I was often dropped in to get the ball. I shudder at the thought of that now. I would not let Gabe do that in a million years. My mom probably didn't even know.

We played board games on the front porches like Monopoly, Life, Payday, Trouble and Sorry. I had a Gnip Gnop that was very popular. Oh, and Yahtzee was huge. At other times, the older kids would lead us in huge reproductions of television shows and commercials. Partridge Family and Gilligan's Island were common sources. Trying to do the Nutter Butter and the famous Big Mac commercial from McDonald's were fun, too. Too bad we didn't have cameras rolling for those. Someone would invariably bring out their portable 45 rpm record player and we would listen to music on the porch and in the front yard. That often lead to lip-synching and lots of clowning around.

I haven't thought about those days for a long time. All of these memories were triggered by looking my copy of The Snowy Day (which I bought for my kids before they were born.) Good books sure do wield a lot of power.

What were your favorite books and games as a kid? What kind of neighborhood did you grow up in?

More notes on content

The Happiness Notebook continues to evolve. Here are the latest notes on content:

1) no more mixtape solicitations until after the New Year

2) videos will still be posted but they will not be limited to hair metal, the diffidence of your opinions was deafening

3) clearly, one of the things that brings me great joy is reading, therefore I will start sharing what I am reading with you (but I will not link to Amazon or any other bookstore) but I will link to a related website where you can read about the author or the book or both

4) rather than not post, when I am having a mental or emotional down time, I will write about the unhappy feelings because, really, can we have happiness without either sadness or ennui? No, so it is time to talk about those feeling directly

5) whether you like it or not, I will continue to post my attempts at fiction, derivative or not, good or bad (though I promise to stick to my self-imposed PG or PG-13 rating) [there is a Frosty the Snowman story coming soon...]

6) the Secrets to Happiness will continue, but, if you can, I need feedback on these. Plus, if you have your own secrets, let us know, because if they work for you, then they probably will work for many others. Stop keeping such important secrets to yourself.

7) while I am not an investment expert, I plan on toying with some of our money by trying a few different strategies and investment options. I was considering posting about the experience here. This will not be a blog dispensing financial advice, but posts related to money will simply be a narrative of the investing experience. That means that I will undoubtedly do stupid things with my precious dollars. Why should that aspect of my life suddenly change?

8) it looks like in the next year, we will be buying and selling a house (not in that order, necessarily) and I'll be blogging about that experience, too

9) Suzzie (Monica's rat) is not recovering as quickly from the surgery as we had hoped. She seems to have lost the strength in her right arm. However, she doesn't seem to be in any pain and the last few days have seen her eating better. We are trying to make sure that she gets adequate exercise and that she stretches and uses her muscles. We were used to her bouncing back from operations as if nothing happened, but she is about 75 years old now in rat years. This is her third Christmas coming up. I'll provide updates on Suzzie's health as she nears the end of her days.

10) I use Yahoo! Messenger. My ID is jdthorntonii. If you don't want to email or post a comment, you can message me there.

A weeklong confessional of procrastination

Well, it took a full week before I could do this post. I wrote NOTHING last week. Early on, that was just the way it had to be, but by Thursday, the feelings that I should be writing were taking root in my psyche. Yesterday, it turned to full-on guilt, but I still didn't want to write. I think it has something to do with the fact that I archive by the week versus the month.

Before I talk about procrastination, first let me give you a run down of what happened this past week, and, no, it was nothing dramatic. Then I'd like to discuss content for a minute. Then we'll get to procrastination. Like how I put that off even within the post?

SUNDAY: Okay then, last Sunday, I chose not to post anything about the mixtape. My sister, Aimee, came through with a couple of suggestions, and while they were fine, I just wasn't feeling the energy for the mixtape. Therefore, the mixtape project is on hiatus until after the holidays.

I spent all day doing manual labor, completing many things on the chore list. We also shopped for tile and bought our Christmas tree (yeah, we buy a recently murdered tree each year.) After the holidays we are redoing our kitchen and nook floors. We will post before and after photographs. Plus a running commentary on having contractors invade the home everyday and the challenges of living while the kitchen floor is in transition. Should be enlightening.

By Sunday night, I was only interested in watching football. Which I did. Which I wished I hadn't. But that's for another blog and another time. Suffice to say that I don't take sports outcomes, whether spectating or participating, too seriously anymore. I enjoy the drama or the competition, but I'm over it when the game ends.

MONDAY: I had to get to work right away to attend an all day meeting. The tone was set when I hit a traffic snarl and arrived right as the meeting was supposed to begin. Others arrived late, but this was important, so I let it bother me. Anyway, the meeting was with my supervisor, the CIO, and my peers. We spent the entire day doing a "talent review" of each person who reported directly to one of us that had a supervisory role or some other leadership role. We'll be devoting an entire post to the challenges, rewards, and concerns that I have with this potentially problematic process. By the end of the day, I was mentally exhausted and posting seemed the farthest thing from my mind.

TUESDAY: Another long meeting, this time about our strategy plan for the next three fiscal years. Again, there were pluses and minuses about the process. I might do a post on this, though it is dangerously close to shop talk. We'll see. This meeting took a little more than half a day. I skipped lunch, a very stupid thing to do, and by the end of the day I was brain dead. But that didn't matter because we had a surprise retirement party for one of my colleagues at a decent Italian restaurant. About 40 people were there and a wonderful time was had by all, especially the retiree. I wore a red shirt with green pants and a pair of silly Christmas socks during the day to throw the retiree off the scent of a surprise party. It's the little things that make the con work. Watch "The Sting" to get all the training you need in this area. Needless to say, the party consumed my Tuesday night.

WEDNESDAY: Another full day of "talent review" meetings. Once again I arrived home mentally drained. I went to bed around 8:30, read, took a cat nap, read some more, fell asleep again, woken by noisy kids getting ready for bed, and then couldn't go back to sleep. I went downstairs, tired, but awake, and read until about 1:30 a.m. Finally, I went to sleep and got up again at 5:30.

THURSDAY: So, I was pretty tired with the choppy sleep patterns. And this was my logical Friday. And I was itching to post something, but because I was tired, I wasn't feeling too upbeat about anything. I didn't feel coherent enough to string together sentences. I don't remember doing anything on Thursday night except reading and watching the recorded episode of "30 Rock", which besides "the Office", is the only comedy we watch regularly. I did some listening to contemporary classical, too. And I added some music to Monica's iPod for her and I worked on our investment portfolio. And I slept.

FRIDAY: My "off" day or so I thought. I was going to rise and right all morning. Oh, you readers were going to be blinded by my brilliance and my insightful commentary on the workaday world. The Happy Guy would be back with renewed vigor and purpose. But, uhm, well, Monica is trying out for regional orchestra, so she had to be at practice by 7:30. So I drove her to school. Then, Jocelyn had to go get her hair done and that is actually just a mile from where I work, and she planned on me going with her, so I had to hurry up and get ready. Gabe missed his bus for some reason, so we had to leave even earlier to drop him off at school.

When we got to exit for the salon, we saw the aftermath of a seven car accident that had the main road (Broad St.) through Richmond blocked in both directions. Jocelyn forgot her cell phone. I chided her for it and then discovered that I forgot mine, too. I forgot to bring the novel that I've been reading. So, while Jocelyn got her hair done, I went across the street to Books-A-Million. I browsed for about an hour and bought a book and a magazine. I'll be posting about both of them, I think; the magazine for certain. When I went back to pick up Jocelyn, it was after 11.

So, we were hungry and we went to lunch at the Italian restaurant that I had been to Tueday night for the retirement party. Jocelyn had the veal piccata and a glass of chianti. I had a green peppercorn steak and water. (She also had a Caesar salad.) For desert, we split an "apple crostada" that had a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream in the middle and was dribbled with caramel and powdered sugar. I bought a bottle of a desert wine to go with it. After that, we made the long trek home and being the nascent senior citizens that we are, we slept until Monica arrived home. Well, until 3. Monica's bus had a mechanical problem, so she didn't get home until 3:30.

Gabe arrived home shortly (he is in elementary school and Monica is in middle school.) Then we fiddled around the house--I read my new magazine--and Jocelyn packed some eBay sales up for shipping. She had been complaining about how nothing was selling, then within two hours, she sold nearly a dozen items from her modest online store. We had until six to drop off a couple of packages at the DHL pick-up point. We got there at ten till six. The DHL guy had already been by. Frustration ensued. But, apparently, he came back to pick up our packages. Jocelyn had checked online later that evening.

Monica was starving so we went to Sonic. Great drinks, terrible food. We went to Target and Gabe and I stayed in the car. Again, I had forgotten to bring a book. I wasn't feeling too great and I was getting tired again. Writing was not on my mind. The girls were taking forever. I called. They had run into a mother from field hockey (one of Monica's sports) and were in the midst of a conversation. Finally, it ended, we left, we arrived home, I read, I fell asleep.

SATURDAY: Surely, I could post something on a Saturday. I couldn't. It was the last day of the week. At that point, I didn't want to. I hadn't even gone to see if anyone was reading the blog. I spent Saturday morning sitting at the breakfast counter reading my book (not the new one, but the novel.) Once again, plans were hatched that I was only vaguely familiar with. We were to pick up one of Monica's friends and all of us were going to see a movie. We saw the first showing of "The Golden Compass". I normally read rottentomatoes before I decide to spend money on a movie. I didn't do that this time. Save this one for your Netflix account. Let's see, $34 for movie tickets, plus $32 for popcorn and drinks. Nothing like a $66 afternoon for a pretty mediocre film.

Then we walked around the mall so that my daughter and her friend could shop for other friends. This was not the highest and best use of mine or Gabe's time. We soldiered through it though. By Saturday night, Gabe was immersed in homework and I was back to reading my novel. I was doing nothing of benefit to me or my family. No way was I going to write.

Which brings us to this morning. I haven't even had any food yet, but I had to get ALL of this off my chest.

This post is fairly long, so the next post will be about content.