Songs that occasionally cross my mind - The 60s

Now, I never intended for this blog to be about nothing but music and our stricken puppies, and I don't believe it is limited to that. But, I'm going to go where the interest is for the most part. I'm happy to have some readers, for sure. Because this is the Happiness Notebook, I'm going to write about things that keep my spirits up, that help me feel contentment, that lead me down a path of fulfillment. Which means that I'll write about practically any topic. I've never been at a loss for what to write about. However, I have been in dark moods that don't seem conducive to writing in a blog thusly named. So, to help lift my spirits, and maybe yours, too, here are some songs that flit across my consciousness every now and then (no, not Total Eclipse of the Heart, though I like most any Jim Steinman tune) and make me feel good. I've probably mentioned them on the blog before, but I'm not going back and checking.

Here are ten from the 60s in no particular order, with no little to no explanation and links to YouTube:

Some Velvet Morning - Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazlewood

Open My Eyes - Nazz

Words - Monkees

Walk on By - Isaac Hayes (album version is over 9 minutes...nearly perfect song)

The Girl from Ipanema - Astrud Gilberto/Stan Getz

A Lover's Concerto - The Toys

A Different Drum - The Stone Poneys featuring Linda Ronstadt

Catch the Wind - Donovan

Society's Child - Janis Ian (she was only 16 when she wrote this!)

By the Time I Get to Phoenix - Glen Campbell (sorry about the sound, but I wanted the original version)

These aren't my favorites, they're just songs that flit across my consciousness every now and again.

I'd like to know if there are any songs from this decade that do that for you. I left off some huge hits and personal favorites.

Tell me about yours in the comments.

FCE Files - Boogie

Well, I intended to direct you all over to my latest blog Giving Feedback, which is just getting underway and has already been tagged by Google as a potential spam blog. Woo hoo! It isn't spam. It's just that I did some fast writing and the blog has links to companies. Ah, you'll see.

For now though, here is Boogie, pre-FCE, who belongs to Emilie (whose first language is French, I believe, but she's written a great thorough rundown of Boogie's story in English.)

Enough of my chatter. Here is the Boogie FCE File:

The beginning

It all started 2 months ago, in September 2008. We were on holidays and Boogie, our French bulldog, was on the balcony looking at people in the street.

My mother was in the kitchen when she heard the dog squeak, and she immediately realized it was not normal barking. She first thought the dog had been stung by a wasp. Unfortunately, it was much worse! The dog was standing before her and her rear legs were totally paralyzed.

We brought Boogie to the vet clinic. The vets told us it was probably hernia and planned to operate her the next morning. But when they did X ray on her to locate the hernia, they could not see anything. They explained that it surely was FCE, that something was stuck in her spine and it was why she could not walk anymore. The worst news was that it could not be cured by operation. The first vet we saw told us that maybe it was better to think about euthanasia. It was a huge shock. Our dog is only 2 years old and so lively that it was really hard to even think about losing her. We decided not to rush and wait for a few days before deciding on Boogie's future.

The first days

Boogie stayed 3 days at the clinic. When she left, we went back home in Paris immediately so that she would feel more comfortable at the place she's used to live. For 3 more days, she stayed prostrated, sitting on a carpet. We still don't know if it's because she could not lie down by herself, if she was in pain or if she was just disturbed by her new condition. Because she was constantly sitting, a bump appeared in the middle of her back, on the spine. But then she was able to lie down again and it slowly disappeared.

Treatment

For two months, our vet in Paris prescribed corticoids. The treatment seemed effective regarding the dog's vivacity, and I'm pretty sure it helped her to start moving again instead of staying on the carpet. But one of the effects of corticoids is that Boogie started to gain weight. We did not change the food quantities but it was clear that the dog would have been able to eat twice her daily ration. And she was also abnormally excited; it was like she had become hyperactive!

In parallel, she was prescribed – and still has – a treatment to "enlarge" blood vessels. Our local vet thinks that maybe it can help the "little thing" in the spine to be evacuated or dissolved.

During 2 weeks, after the corticoids treatment, she also received injections to strengthen muscles.

We also took the dog to the "Vet School", which is a prestigious institution for vets training and where you can find all kinds of specialists. A professor examined the dog and some students were there, taking notes. The professor even took pictures of Boogie! Apparently, FCE is quite rare and often misdiagnosed and the professor thought it would be a good opportunity to discuss Boogie's case with her students in class. That was a good sign for us, because even if the dog never recovers from FCE, at least we know her condition is studied and may be useful for vet students. It was decided that we should bring the dog to the Vet School twice a week for physical therapy. Two students are in charge of working with her in the swimming pool and do massages. Boogie is a small dog so she gets tired very quickly. In general, 10 to 15 minutes in the swimming pool is all she can do. But we feel lucky to have this chance because there are only 3 or 4 Vet Schools in France and these physical therapy sessions are a bonus to the medical treatment!

Everyday life

Now, that's the hardest part of all this. We can deal easily with the disability, but it's much more difficult to handle faecal and urinary incontinence. When we came back to Paris, Boogie had cystitis because her bladder had not been completely emptied for a few days. During two weeks, my mother brought the dog twice a day – in the morning and in the evening – to our local vet so that he would empty Boogie's bladder. Now we do that once a day, but it still represents a constraint.

At home, things are a bit complicated because we live in an apartment. We have a small garden, but it's useless as the dog does not ask to go out and do her business. We always have to clean up after her; we never know when or where she will do it (surprise!) and *yes* we sometimes feel embarrassed when people are visiting us and the dog just pees or poops right before them!

With disability and incontinence, also come other types of difficulties:

- Scabs on her legs and belly. We treat them with ointment and have put special pillows everywhere in the apartment. But the dog is always moving all around the place so she does not spend much time on the pillows. Nevertheless, her legs look better now than they did 2 or 3 weeks ago.
- Dog's mood. Although she's as joyful, lively and affectionate as she was before, Boogie growls and tries to bite us each time we want to look after her (for scabs or incontinence, for example). My father and the vets are the only persons who are able to handle her, but they are not always there to help!
- Money. Needless to say that our daily visits to the local vet, the medical treatments, the therapy sessions at the Vet School, the special cushions, carpet cleaning and all these little things we do to make our dog's life easier has a price. We do it because we have taken the decision to do all we can to fight FCE but it's quite expensive.
- Lack of understanding. I know it may sound absurd compared with the dog's situation, but my family and I have received no support or encouragement from our relatives and friends. They all think we are crazy to go on with this and that we should put the dog to sleep "because, you know, it's just a dog". We are not humanizing our dog, but she's part of the family. Each time someone tells us to put an end to this, I'm about to cry…The only support comes from our local vet and the Vet School.

And of course, we can't go anywhere we want. Before FCE, we used to take the dog all the time with us on holidays, weekends etc. Now we have to stay at home. I can take care of the dog when my parents need to leave for a few days, but one of us always must stay with the dog. No one would accept to look after her in those conditions.

Progress

The reason why we're going through this… There is progress. Recovery is very slow, it comes with periods of doubt and discouragement, but we can definitely see improvement in Boogie's condition.

FCE + 15 days: Boogie starts to feel sensitivity in the pads, but we have to press them very strongly. She's still totally incontinent and can not move her rear legs at all.

FCE + 30: Sensitivity in the legs is growing. When we press the pads, she's moving them. But it sounds more like an automated reaction. She doesn't seem to feel any pain or to realize than we're pressing her pads. Incontinence hasn't changed at all.

FCE + 45: The dog slightly raises her butt. Her bladder is less supple, which means she's more in control of it. From time to time, she even wants to go in the garden to do her business but it's very very rare.

FCE + 60 (today): The dog's legs are more firm. When we put the dog on her legs, she's able to stand up for a few seconds, although she has no control of them. The real improvement is that she's able to raise her butt high enough to almost stand up by herself. She doesn't do that very often, maybe once or twice a day. But it's a big step considering that 3 weeks ago, she was incapable of moving her hind.

The future

We have no guarantee that our dog will be able to walk again in the future but euthanasia is now out of the question. Boogie is enjoying life despite her disability. We're waiting one more month then we will consider buying a dog trolley adapted to her size (we will have to go to Belgium for that, because there's no seller in France). We don't want to buy a trolley too soon because we were told that it may slow down her progress. What we really hope right now is to make incontinence disappear. It would change our daily life and we would be able to take the dog with us again during our visits to friends or family without being embarrassed or dependent on local vets.

FCE is a real challenge. It's challenging the dog's life and our own lives, and we have learned how strong our attachment to the dog is. We will go as far as possible in the recovery process. We won't give up and just need to be patient.

Yes, FCE is a challenge, and can be a major inconvenience and really tests your resolve. Caregiving is a full time job, and caregiving a confused animal is a tough full time job. We're glad that you're following through with Boogie, Emilie. If she needs to be mobile, maybe she can go on wheels for some time and then you can take them off. It might raise her spirits without slowing down her recovery.

Thank you for sharing Boogie with us and keep us posted on her progress.

If you have an FCE (or dog diagnosed with other problems that cause paralysis) please send me an email with your story and a photo of your dog or you with your dog (either before or after the event) to happyguy@happinessnotebook.com.

FCE Files - Eddie

We've had a couple of people write in with photos and stories about their experiences with FCE.

The first one I received is from Gina and her pup, Eddie:

I have been following your blog about FCE's and found it very helpful and interesting. Knowing others went through this has been a great help and inspiration to go forward.

My 7 year old Jack Russell Eddie suffered an FCE on Sept. 14. The first two weeks were insane and overwhelming and we were all a little crazy here. His rear legs were totally gone and he had no deep pain so we didnt have much hope.

Things have changed....I started acupunture treatments 3 weeks ago and he is moving. It started with his tail and now he is taking steps... maybe only 4 or 5 at a time and a little whobbly...but he is moving and the dr. feels so optamistic...and so do we.

We got him wheels...that were wonderful!!! Made of pvc and very reasonable at dogstogo.net They made a HUGH difference for him and us.

I thank you again for writing this blog and giving all of us hope.I think Eddie will be walking soon. He might not be the crazy jumper he was but i know he is happy and getting stronger every day. I think i ordered every diaper there is on line, but we even have that under control now too.

My best advice to anyone is patience. Try the holistic medicine and acupunture, relax because they are better than us and give them lots of love. It will work and if it doesnt, get them wheels. Life can be ok with a down dog too!!!

Thank you for sharing Eddie with us, Gina. He's looking pretty sturdy and alert there in that photo. We wish you the best in his continuing recovery.

The FCE files - a request for humans

If a cool celebrity dog like Brian Griffin could become the spokesdog for FCEs, that could help raise awareness, perhaps limiting the stress and pain of the families of an FCE stricken pet.

There is no guarantee of recovery from FCE, but the chances are excellent for at least a partial recovery, and not too bad for a complete recovery. The family's lifestyle might change a bit, but everyone, including the dog, can continue to lead happy lives, especially after those first few harrowing weeks.

I've received a lot of comments and emails about FCE. I'm not an expert by any means. I, like so many of you, was a dog owner who had no idea something like this could happen. My family suffered the same anxieties and muddled through with physical therapy and, basically, canine nursing care. The bonds between animal and human grow even stronger. (Though I think Ralph still secretly blames me for the whole experience. It's that look he gives me when he rises out of bed and that hind leg is stiff in the mornings.)

I'd like to keep a photo list of dogs and their families that have been through this. Please send me a photo of your dog (with or without you and your family, pre or post FCE...up to you) and some details on where and when the FCE struck. If you'd like to write about your feelings, the challenges of taking care of your pet, and his or her current state, that would be great. I'd like to post them in the blog and provide a list of links to those posts on the side. I'll start it right now with Ralph.

Thanks

Emotional listening to classical music

There are certain pieces of music that...emotionally...transport me. Words are inadequate for explaining feelings, one has to feel them on their own. This transport to a new emotional state is immediate and personal. There is no guarantee that what I am feeling is the same as what you are feeling. There isn't even a guarantee that the music that moves me will move anyone else (though some of these pieces are admittedly known for this power.)

I'm not going to get into the details of listening to classical music. Music appreciation is for someone else to teach (which, if you haven't ever taken such a class, you should, or at least go to a library and check out a book on classical music and some CDs or DVDs of performances.) Rather than focus on intellectual listening (which you should do at some point, I think) I'd like to focus on emotional listening. Sound immersion really.

By emotional listening, I mean immersing yourself in the sound, giving up other thoughts, letting the music take you somewhere else. About a year ago, I mentioned the cliche of how cut grass can send people back to their childhoods. Scents can do that. Tastes and images can do itl, too. And while those senses can conjure powerful memories and images, there is something about musical sounds that intensify this sensation for me.

Now, as a kid, my classical music listening experience was confined to misunderstood and under appreciated field trips to the Music Hall in Cincinnati, Ohio and to the occasional Warner Brothers cartoon. So, the music can't possibly be triggering direct memories.

Yet each of these pieces triggers memories. Perhaps these memories are representative of the mood evoked. Inevitably, the music makes me feel wistful for a more innocent time, when love was simple and strong, when emotions were pure, powerful, and unconditional. There is joy in these feelings, but a sadness, too, like looking at old films of frolicking children, each of whom has long since grown old and passed on.

I should mention that other music, besides classical can do this for me, but I'm limiting the selections here to a handful of classical works. I'm using their full names from allmusic.com and including 30 second samples of each, which, of course, do not do them justice. Also, many times, an entire work doesn't have this affect on me. It can be a short sequence of notes, no more than a couple of bars of music, that send me into this melancholic euphoria.

Also, to be completely accurate, other works cause different responses in me. Some of this music makes me feel...transcendent, where I can feel my heart swell with pride and happiness and power (picture the Grinch's heart in the Christmas cartoon.)

It's getting late and I keep rambling. Here's some of the music. Let me know what music does this for you. If you haven't discovered classical, drop your defenses and listen for a bit. There is something there for every taste.

Prayer of St. Gregory (interlude from opera "Etchmiadzin"), for trumpet & string orchestra, Op. 62b composed by Alan Hovhaness in 1946. I've never heard the opera, but this five minute work for trumpet and strings is a longtime favorite of mine. There are many recordings of this. Be sure to find one with strings, not organ for the accompaniment. I like the Gerard Schwarz conducted versions best. This work immediately drops me into a meditative state. I always feel better and more relaxed after listening to this.

Symphony No. 3, Op. 36 ("Symphony of Sorrowful Songs") composed by Henryk Gorecki in 1976. This is nearly an hour long symphony that takes its time building emotional tension. The symphony is in three movements and features a soprano soloist singing the "sorrowful songs" of the subtitle. I urge you to investigate this work. It was made popular by Dawn Upshaw and the London Sinfonietta back in the early 90s. There are now numerous versions. The links above are to multiple clips. Grab a favorite beverage, wear comfortable clothes, find a good position to sit or lie down and just be quiet and patient and listen to this work. The soprano's voice will be seem shockingly high after the depths of the notes in the early part of the first movement (you'll need some volume; headphones work great.) The second movement is a beautiful dirge. The third is relentlessly slow yet almost hopeful. Just listen.

Cantus in Memory of Benjamin Britten, for string orchestra & bell composed by Arvo Part between 1977-1980. The bell tolls throughout, the strings take turns starting, descending, repeating, finally stopping on the same tone. When the basses finally catch up with all of the other strings, all of them stop simultaneously, leaving the sound of the bell, struck just before the strings stop, pealing, alone, fading to silence. It makes my eyes well up just hearing the music in my head. It's seven minutes of reverence for those we've lost.

This post is getting pretty long. I'll add a Part II, tomorrow.

Good night. (By the way, that photo is of a bell with Arvo Part.)

Ralph, his FCE, his treatment, an update

I haven't written in this blog for a long long while. I've been writing, moving, working, even blogging, but just not here. My spirit to write in the Happiness Notebook left me during the summer. Maybe it will return.

One thing that has been happening with increasing regularity is commentary on my post about my dog Ralph (pronounced Rafe with a long A) and his FCE.

Dog owners (parents?) have shared their stories on how one moment their pets were playing and lively and the next they're paralyzed. The dogs can no longer move the back half of their bodies. The dogs are scared and confused. And in the early stages of this condition, when little is known, you begin to wonder if you will lose your loved one.

It is a harrowing time, especially because your dog is so innocent and undeserving of such a physical calamity.

Since that post back in early March, Ralph has regained full use of his right rear leg and his tail. His left rear leg still has some problems. It is probably 60% or so. He has trouble with it when he needs to take stairs. He struggles with hardwood floors, too as he tries to remain stable when pivoting. It is clearly a little stiff after he's been lounging, too.

The first two weeks after the FCE were the toughest for both him and us. He couldn't walk, so I carried him outside for his potty breaks. His bladder required massaging to start his urine flow. He couldn't squat properly for elimination either, so he had to be held properly without hurting his ribs or legs. He was miserable and we weren't much better. He dreaded potty breaks.

But what he dreaded more, but soon learned to accept, was physical therapy. Six times a day we worked his legs for ten to fifteen minutes, moving them through full ranges of motion, forward, backward, up and down. He would lay on his bed and look off in the distance. Normally, he would love this sort of attention. However, during PT he wasn't too happy.

About 10 days after the FCE occurred, he stood up. He couldn't walk, but he stood up. I made little rubber booties for his rear paws (which rubbed them raw, so I had to line them with something soft. This gave him traction on the hardwoods and confidence to move.

By day 15 he could move gingerly around the house. He couldn't take the stairs very well and he didn't have good bowel control yet. Scheduled potty breaks were the norm.

I should mention his eating habits. He's a dry food eater. But to make it easier on him, we mixed his food with a little hot water to stimulate his nose (and ours, too, unfortunately). His first attempts at standing were so he could eat and drink with doggy dignity. (I swear he seemed embarrassed by the whole thing after a week or so.)

By the third week he could limp along fairly well. His right leg showed incredible improvement. His left paw still knuckled under occasionally. We limited PT to his left leg at that point.

At a month he stopped knuckling his left paw. He could go to the bathroom on his own. We waited another month before we started playing catch with him. We don't overdo that anymore. He would play until he collapses if we allowed it.

Today, he is happy. He prefers staying on the carpet. He loves to go outside and play in the yard and he goes bananas for going for walks. Except for a limp, which lessens as he warms up, life is back to pretty normal.

For those of you who are in the early stages, stick with it. Your dog will be ok, but it will take plenty of attention and care on your part. Give him or her love. Be willing to carry them, for large dogs they make handled harness assists.

Be patient. They're confused and unhappy with this, too. Be vigilant in your PT. If you like alternative medicine, consider that for your animal. In most cases, the effects of the FCE are not permanent.

You and your dog can make it through this. We did. Ralph did. He's as happy as ever.

Please post your thoughts, trials, and triumphs with your FCE situation. Thank you for sharing.

Fountain of music

Back in the early 1980s I picked up this eponymous album by Russ Ballard. I bought it because it contained the song Voices. The FM station I listened to in Honolulu played it every now and then. The song was featured on an episode of Miami Vice. That was a sufficient recommendation (in those days) for me to buy the album.

At the time, I didn't know anything about Russ Ballard; I only knew that I liked this song. Then, while looking at my Zebop! album by Santana, I noticed the name Ballard in parentheses after one of my all time favorite songs, Winning. Turned out to be the same guy.

I had the soundtrack to an obscure movie, McVicar, starring Roger Daltrey (both in the movie and on the record.) Three songs on that were by Ballard: Just a Dream Away, Free Me, and My Time is Gonna Come, all of them fine tunes, the latter two feel like classic Who.

Why didn't I know anything about this guy?

Then I discovered that he wrote the pop hit I Know There's Something Going On recorded by Frida (Anni-Frid of ABBA.) Everything he wrote, I seemed to like, without knowing he was the songwriter.

He also wrote the song New York Groove, popularized by Ace Frehley on his "solo" album when he was with Kiss. Do you remember Liar by Three Dog Night? He wrote hits for the Pointer Sisters and Hot Chocolate: Someday We'll Be Together (not the Supremes' song) and So You Win Again, respectively. Oh, and he penned You Can Do Magic, a big hit for America.

He also wrote my all time favorite song by Rainbow, and one of my personal favorite songs ever, Since You've Been Gone.

It didn't take me long to find out that he had been the lead singer and guitarist for the band Argent. He wrote a number of songs for them, including one that Kiss made into a huge live concert anthem, God Gave Rock and Roll to You. And while Rod Argent and Chris White wrote it, Russ Ballard was the singer on the classic Hold Your Head Up.

He wrote many other songs, but these are the big ones for me. You'll need more than 30 second snippets to really appreciate his songwriting abilities, though.

I feel grateful that there are people like Russ Ballard who are compelled to create. I know they're not doing it for us, but I am glad we can reap the rewards of their efforts.

095 - Try zorbing

A zorb is an inflatable 7+ foot diameter ball with a tunnel to a open core. You climb in to the core, hold on (or not) and ride down a hillside. This is called zorbing or sphering.

It appears this originated in New Zealand (where I think bungee jumping came from, too.) Kiwis seem to be very inventive when it comes to creating new types of recreational activities.

A lot of people would be tempted to add bungee jumping or sky-diving to their list of 101 things in 1,001 days. Not me. I'm not a heights kind of guy. Closest to that for me is rollercoasters.

I don't mind rolling down a hill and tumbling head over heels. In fact, it looks like a blast. Youtube has videos of multiple people in these things. In the summertime, just add water and you'll exit the zorb soaked and cooled off.

The concern though, is where exactly can we go zorbing? I don't want to fly to NZ just to zorb. A quick search revealed that down near the Smokey Mountains in Tennessee zorbing is offered. Perfect. So, when we get back down that way, we'll be zorbing. I'll post video.

Anyone out there tried it? Is it worth doing? Everything I've seen has shown people giggling like mad. Sounds like fun to me.

Critical thinking as a fundamental life skill

I read a handful of blogs, and some of them are political or sports-related. (This post is NOT about politics or sports.)

One thing that I have noticed when reading the comments is just how much dogma is accepted as fact. The core beliefs are never questioned. Those who do the questioning are labeled "trolls" and attacked back into anonymity. This is especially true of political blogs, where a mix of group-identity, political doctrine, dogmatic beliefs, and culture serves to limit dialogue and crush civil discourse. Many of these blogs seem to encourage a comfortable insularity where one is always right and every one else agrees.

Then there are the sports blogs. Clearly, rooting for a team or person and disliking another is all part of the fan experience, so one would expect a certain level of trash talking. Civil discourse really isn't expected here, but the consequences of a lack of civility are far less important. My main problem with sports blogs is the adoption of "truths" with a lack of evidence. In fact, in the world of 24 hour sports coverage, it makes its way into television, radio, and print media. It's as if we need a simple short hand to understand complex issues. But that short hand leads to some really silly conclusions by both the writers and the consumers of sports news and opinion.

I think what we lack is the ability to think critically. For me, these are the two areas where this lack of ability routinely and visibly manifests itself everyday.

One of my favorite books in recent years is Critical Thinking by Richard W. Paul and Linda Elder. It is intended to be a textbook for a college course in critical thinking, but it really reads as a great introduction and handbook on the subject. (The book is apparently in a 2nd edition now. I have the first.)

I've always thought of myself as a decent critical thinker, but I have never thought about critical thinking. Paul and Elder have done a lot of thinking on that topic. They have come up with a model for critical thinking that satisfies both the theoretical and the practical.

The base for the model is the Universal Structures of Thought. These structures are there whether we think of them or not. If we're to improve our thinking then we'll need to think about these structures also. I'll note the structure in a moment.

They have also developed the "standards" of critical thinking that are applied to the "elements" of critical thinking (these elements are the components of the Universal Structures of Thought) while we continue to develop our intellectual "traits". I know, I know, that all sounds like a lot of mumbledepan gobbledegook theoretical nonsense. For now, just trust me that it isn't, please. It does make sense.

What I would like to do over a series of posts is define the standards, elements, and traits. I'll present them in no particular order. We'll dig in to what they mean and how they apply to our daily practical lives. As much as I would like to apply them to the stuff I read online, I don't want to violate my own rules. Application of this knowledge will be left up to you.

I encourage you to buy the book. The 2nd edition is a little larger than my 1st edition, so I'll probably obtain it to see what was added.

For now, though, let's look at a statement about the elements (or universal structures) of thinking. I'll italicize the elements.

Whenever we think,
we think for a purpose (What is my fundamental purpose?)
within a point of view (What is my point of view with respect to this issue?)
based on assumptions (What assumptions am I using in my reasoning?)
leading to implications and consequences (What are the implications of my reasoning if I am correct?)
we use data, facts, and experiences (What information do I need to answer my question?)
to make inferences and judgments (What are my most fundamental inferences or conclusions?)
based on concepts and theories (What is the most basic concept in the question?)
to answer a question or solve a problem. (What is the key question I am trying to answer?)

I've read people talking about deporting, attacking, taxing, spending, arresting, outlawing, enforcing, building, razing, voting, etc. and you can tell that they have never asked more than one or two of the above questions of themselves related to the topic on which they pontificate.

Ah, I've bored you enough with this. Let me know what you THINK about it though.

Historical self-help: a commentary #2

We continue with The Art of Worldly Wisdom by Baltasar Gracian, first published in Spain in 1647.

2. Mind and spirit: The two elements on which our faculties depend. One without the other is only half happiness. Mind is not enough; spirit is necessary. The fate of a fool is to fail in his calling, professional, commercial, political, social.

Well, that was short. A bit cryptic, too. Maybe not. Let's see.

Mind means mental powers; the ability to think; our cleverness. Spirit means the energy we bring to bear on life. It is our passion, our disposition, our emotional intelligence. Faculties is another word for our abilities or capabilities.

We can be very smart, but if we are depressed or frightened or unwise, that intellectual power won't do much good. Many people believe that being smart is enough. We know it isn't. Gracian is just reminding us that you have to develop your spirit.

More modern writers would probably add a point about making sure we take care of our bodies, too. An ill body makes it rough on the spirit. Also, fitness and activity are good for mental ability as well.

Gracian seems a bit rushed in his final sentence. When he refers to a fool it appears that he means someone lacking spirit, though he could mean someone lacking mind or spirit or both. I like how he ties foolishness to practical failure in our work, business, political career or living with other human beings. He has a common sense take on getting along in life, which is what Gracian means when he uses the term happiness.

That is why Gracian's book is still popular. It makes sense for everyday living.

Do you have a different take on his words? Do you agree with him?

Olympic sport: fencing - sabre

The Olympic games are fast approaching, and while it is a given that China will win the medal count (the home team always takes home more gold than they usually do, and China is a powerhouse,) the United States will do well in their traditional areas: basketball, softball, baseball, swimming, and track & field.

But there's another event where they are nearly guaranteed to excel: women's sabre. The women of the USA Fencing team have three of their four sabrueses ranked 2, 3, and 4 in the world. They have World Championships under their belts and, if you click on the photo, a window will open showing the NBC video of the first ever women's sabre gold medal match in the Olympics. It's great to watch. The Chinese fencer, Tan Xue, is currently ranked #1 in the world.

There are three types of fencing based on the weapon used. Foil is most common, meaning this is the weapon with which most people start. There are a number of rules a fencer must follow, including those regarding etiquette, but the important thing is to score a touch before your opponent. For foil, the valid touch area is the torso and groin. Touching the legs, head, or arms does not count.

The longest weapon is the epee. Here the entire body is a valid target, including the hands and feet. Epee is the style used in modern pentathlon. Epee is my favorite style. Anyone can score at any time, even while defending an attack. With other fencing weapons the fencer must establish the attack (or right of way.)

With both foil and epee, only the point of the sword can be used to touch. Bouts with foil and epee can appear to be much more like "movie" fencing. Lots of parrying and lunging. Some people refer to fencing as physical chess. It is a sport of the mind and body. You need to think in a series of actions and counteractions well before they happen.

But then there is sabre. Sabre is the aggressive cutting version of fencing. It is lightning quick. If you're new to it, watching it can be confusing because you aren't sure who scored the touch. Sabre touches cover everything from the waist up, including arms and head, but not the hands. With sabre, however, slashing is allowed. This is why sabreurs seem to be relaxed when a bout begins, rather than in the formal en garde position. Attacking with only your point is a quick way to lose.

Gabe has fenced for a couple of years. He hasn't fenced so far in 2008, mainly because he needs to work harder to keep up with school, but we'll get him back out there. He loves it.

Fencing clubs welcome beginners and offer lessons. It is a great form of exercise, you'll firm up your bottom and legs and you'll improve your balance. Don't worry about equipment right away. At most place you need only by an relatively inexpensive fencing glove. The clubs provide weapons, masks, jackets and other safety equipment.

If you try it, let us know about it.

Hungarian Goulash

My mom made hers with elbow macaroni. It was loaded with tomato sauce. I didn't like it.

But at least once every week or two, this was our dinner. I was reminded of the dish when I recently read Graham Greene's The Honorary Consul. One of the supporting characters likes to have the goulash at the "Italian Club". I immediately thought of this regular childhood meal.

We all have them, the staples of the dinners of our childhoods. Besides this dreaded tomatoey concoction, we regularly had cube steaks, liver and onions, hot dogs and sauerkraut, kielbasa, hamburgers, instant mashed potatoes, real mashed potatoes, cans of peas, green beans (french cut), corn, creamed corn, succotash, and carrots. We had pots of navy, lima, pinto, or great northern beans quite often, too. My least favorite would have been the lima beans. My favorite meal was probably chicken and dumplings.

We rarely, if ever, had fish. Fried chicken came from the Hitching Post in Cincinnati. Of course, we had our share of White Castles (my mom worked there when I was a baby) and either Gold Star or Skyline chili. Hot dogs came from Kahn's, beer came from Hudepohl and sometimes Burger or Schoenling, not that we were served beer as children, I just remember my dad having this.

Each week, during the summer when I wasn't visiting my maternal grandparents in Kentucky, I had lunch with my paternal grandmother, Elnora, in Cincinnati. We would go pick up her paycheck at Walgreen's each Friday. I would eat at the lunch counter. Chicken-fried steak was my typical choice.

Food is pretty simple when you're a kid. You either like it or you don't. If you don't, you have a strategy for dealing with it. For goulash, I ate the beef first. Cleaned the sauce off the pasta as best I could and used heaps of water or Mountain Dew to keep the acidic tomato taste off my palate. It isn't like I had options. Skipping a meal wasn't going to work. Though I could have made a meal out of Oreo's in those days. (According to Jocelyn, I could do so today, too.)

Was there a meal that you particularly dreaded? How did you cope? Was there one that you really looked forward to having? Did your family have a routine for meals? Leave a description in the comments.

(photo from belly-timber, who sadly doesn't seem to be producing entries anymore.)

032 - Buy a bugle and learn to play Taps

I think the first time that I heard Taps was as a kid watching the movie No Time for Sergeants.

In it, Andy Griffith plays a country boy US Air Force recruit (kind of like Gomer Pyle is a country boy marine recruit.) There's a scene where he is in the barracks his first night when lights out is called. From outside, the lovely 24 note tune, Taps, is played. Airman Stockdale, Griffith's character, says thoughtfully, "Somebody brung their trumpet." It was a beautiful sound and it seemed to calm my emotions, even while watching a screwball comedy movie.

Then I heard it in 1975, when my young uncle, Albert, my teenage uncle, died while in the Marine Corps on a Navy ship off the coast near Thailand. I answered the door when the men in their dress uniforms came to tell my grandmother (I used to spend at least one day a week with her during the summer months.) When Al was buried with a full military ceremony, they did the 3 volley salute (seven rifles, fired three times) and the bugler played Taps in the distance.

I played trumpet in elementary school band for a few years, but gave it up. Now, I think I want to get a valveless bugle. I want to learn to play Taps.

It didn't help when about ten years ago I finally read From Here to Eternity by James Jones. (I can't recommend the book enough.) I lived in Hawaii for many years and knew the places Jones refers to very well. One of the main protagonists in the book, Private Prewitt, is the company bugler. He plays bugle like no other. No matter what people think of him, they are astounded when they hear him play. (If you can't read the National Book Award winning novel, then at least rent the movie made the following year.)

All my life, the desire to play bugle, especially Taps, has been ricocheting around my subconscious. I need to act on it, so here it is on the 101 in 1,001 list.

Please do not misunderstand. Taps is not a morbid tune. It is a short melody that practically forces calm and quiet. It centers one, causing introspection and thoughtfulness. The spiritual nature of the piece (especially for someone who isn't traditionally spiritual, like me) appeals to me. I feel the same way about certain classical and new age compositions, but for those, I don't hold out hope of learning how to perform them.

I linked an .mp3 of Taps to the image of the bugle. Click on the image and a window will open and it will play on your preferred applications (winamp, media player, etc.)

Historical self-help, a commentary, #1

From The Art of Worldly Wisdom by Baltasar Gracian, published in 1647:

1. Everything today has its point, but nothing is more important than becoming a person. More is required to produce one wise person than used to be required for seven; and more is needed to deal with a single individual in these times than with an entire population in the past.

This is the opening salvo from Gracian in a book that contains 300 such entries. This is one of the weaker ones, mainly because of its generic introductory nature.

What I like about this paragraph is the human conceit that one's time is so much more complex and difficult than any earlier time. I don't know if "seven" is from an idiom of 17th century Spain but it serves to show that Gracian wanted to make his audience feel that they have a great responsibility for themselves. He makes the ratio even greater for our responsibility in dealing with others.

The real importance of this paragraph is in the initial sentence. Everything has meaning, art, commerce, nature, science, religion, philosophy, etc. "But nothing is more important than becoming a person." Aren't we all persons? Isn't that just another word for human?

It is, but in this context, Gracian is talking about our character and our individual personalities. We'll see as we review this book that he focuses on how to behave and get along in the world. Clearly, he believes if we focus on correct behavior, we'll have a far better go of it here on Earth. And a better go of it, to me, is what happiness is all about.

Surprisingly, his advice isn't all that dated. As a matter of fact, a lot of so-called self-help gurus have probably just rewritten Gracian's wisdom, maybe even unknowingly. I'm not charging anyone with plagiarism.

This commentary will be a periodic thing. I'm not promising a post per day on this one. And this feature will not be limited to this book, though most everything will be pre-20th century (or at least in the public domain!)

A song you won't remember - Cinderella by Firefall

Here we have a song from my tween years, by Firefall called Cinderella. This is soft rock mixed with pop country. Not really my thing, but I always enjoyed Firefall. Their lyrics stood out for me, especially with this song.

We're told of a young girl who falls for the narrator, a man who disdains her so-called love, yet is still willing to have sex. She gets pregnant and he gets angry, mainly over finances, and sends her away. There is plenty of understated irony here. The notion that she doesn't know what love is, yet this shallow guy does? When he finds she's pregnant, he seems worried about how he'll get the Camaro running and repainted with a kid around.

After a musical bridge, with a lot of "no no no" repetition where the singer/narrator seems to be trying to convince himself that he was in the right, we come to the final verse. Here we discover an older man contemplating possible regret, maybe even remorse or guilt over having abandoned a young woman and his son. Somehow he finds a way to rationalize his wrong by blaming her for not leaving sooner.

The oddly soothing synthesizers, harmonica, and guitars belie the lyrical content of this song. But it works without being a cringing country message song or an intentionally misogynistic pop tune.

It is one of my favorite songs of the '70s and it takes me back to a time that I thought would always be filled with regret for me. Things change. Things are what they are. What is important is how we respond to them. We have to forgive ourselves especially if we want to be forgiven.

Cinderella could have left earlier but she didn't. The man could have kept them all together but he didn't. The boy might or might not have had a happy childhood. None of those decisions can be reversed.

The question is: what are we going to do now? The present decisions are the important ones.

100 - Do the taxes without filing for an extension

It has happened every year for the last 18 years. April 15th (or whatever day is Tax Day for a given year) rolls around and I sit down to do what I have put off since late January when the W-2s arrived: I fill out the filing extension form and mail it in.

Then I fret about doing the taxes for the next three to six months. The undone paperwork stays in the back of my mind, gnawing at my happiness and for nearly two decades I've attacked it with the poorest weapon in my arsenal: I procrastinate.

This is simply stupid on my part. I need to get the taxes done, the sooner the better. If I owe, I can put off filing until the last day, but otherwise, just do them.

That's why, task number 100 on my 101 Things in 1,001 Days is doing the taxes without filing for an extension each year. Even on this list I nearly put this task off until the end.

And this year, I did them. I did my taxes with two weeks to go. They took me a long time to do because of some interesting income from 2007, but I got them finished.

Next year's will be even tougher, especially if we move. Even if I have to hire an accountant, I'm still taking credit for completing this task.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you make yourself do it?

Where have you been?

Geez, I turn my head for just a moment and over a month goes by. What happened?

Well, I accomplished one of my 101 Things in 1,001 Days. I did my taxes, on time, without an extension. I haven't done that since...1990. Yes, it has been 18 years since I did taxes without filing an extension. And this was one of my more complicated years. It took me about six or seven hours to get them done. I have a real mental block when it comes to taxes. I'm not a fan of paying them, but to be forced to report them and my exemptions and my deductions and it just gets to me that we're required by law to do this. There must be a better way.

I'll add the task to the list on the right. It feels good not to have that burden hanging over my head for the next few months. (And if you think I am putting off a monster refund, I am not. I try to plan my taxes so that I have either a very small refund or a very small payment due. This year it was a medium sized payment due, but it was offset by a state tax refund, so we were pretty happy.)

I never told you that Monica received 2nd place in the Science Fair for her project on hydrogen fuel cell efficiency and the challenges surrounding that technology. She did a great job. Once she figured out the scientific principles, she really connected with the project. Her science teachers loved it.

We're exploring a possible move, too. Things are very busy here. If you're looking for a reasonably priced modest 4 bedroom brick two-story transitional, with an acre or two of wooded lot and a fenced backyard, let me know.

I've yet to see a wrist specialist, because I've been seeing a sleep specialist. I'll post more on that later, but getting a good night's sleep seems like a fairly important activity.

So, I'm writing this post basically to do a quick catch-up, in an effort to restart this blog. Winter has never really been fun for me. That's something I need to improve. I'll have to work it into the list.

Anyway, welcome back, even though you haven't been gone at all.

Abbreviated Spring Break trip this year

We won't be going to Arizona as we planned, nor even to Florida or Georgia this Spring Break. We have had too many things happen recently to enjoy this trip. We also have too many things to do at home, that we have neglected for far too long, to spend a week away. We might take a few days and go to Charleston, SC. We'll see.

Ralph is walking, albeit on three legs. Suzzie died last week.

Happiness isn't some outcome when everything is going great.

Happiness is the context of how we interpret and respond to life's moments.

We care for Ralph and carry him where he needs to go and nurse him back to health.

We keep Suzzie comfortable as her life ends. We hold our children and cry along with them when we lose her.

We call our friends and family and listen with our empathy and sympathy to their own tragedies and conflicts. (A friend recently lost her mother and is now undergoing another major life change. My older children are all in various states of health or wealth flux. A cousin was just diagnosed with a life changing illness. My sister balances professional and home life with two young children while her spouse is rehabbing from a surgery. Life never seems "normal," does it?)

Happy people not only embrace the good and the pleasant, they endure the bad and the difficult. We understand that both are required. Strength comes from love and support of each other. Sadness is not despair.

Life's hurts and losses deepen our understanding and appreciation of life's blessings and pleasures.

We become happier, on a much deeper level, because we have endured.

Visualizing the ordinary

But if ever a magazine could capture that, then this is it. This photo was taken by a contributor, Jeremy Stockwell (who had two photos published in this first issue.)

Life Images is basically a large photo album with short text (no more than 450 words) attached. The photography isn't too artsy and the images are just beyond ordinary. Pick this one up now, because the Spring Issue comes out in April. The cover price is $14.99.

Leafing through it is a calming experience, grounding us in the everyday. The sky, water, flowers, feet, birds, faces, hands, shadows, and myriad things of life's routine captured in still images with bits of text in the form of quotes, poems, raw emotions, false affectations, or simple explanations turn out, in aggregate, to be far more powerful than I anticipated. The tag line for the magazine is "A collection of captured moments and inspired journaling." That says it pretty well. I like it and recommend it.

I think we could all use a little ordinary some of the time.

The Secrets to Happiness: Secret #17

Do you like chocolate? Cheese? Go get a piece of your favorite. Put it in your mouth. Chew. Don't swallow. Let it coat your tongue. Taste it. Enjoy it. Experience it.

Do you like baked goods? Go to a bakery. Before ordering anything, take a deep breath. Experience the smells of the bakery. The dough, yeast, wheat. Let it fill your nostrils. Buy something warm. Tear it open and inhale. Smell it. Enjoy it. Experience it.

Do the same thing with a favorite song or piece of music. Don't go to the next song or work. Listen and then keep quiet. Enjoy the sound and the memory of the sound. Feel the tingle caused by the voice or the music. (I loved listening to my maternal grandmother talk to my father in the morning over coffee while I laid in bed in another room.)

Pet an animal or hold a loved one. Feel the skin or fur and the warmth, the heartbeat, the respiration. Hold it gently and think about how lucky we are to have another in our life that allows for this intimacy.

Look at something that you find beautiful. Another person, a building, a plant, a view. Take it all in, the color, the lighting, the angles, details. Take pleasure in each aspect.

Or combine two or more senses as you live the not-so-secret secret to happiness:

Savor something (at least once a day)

Slow down and enjoy something each day. Make it a habit.

It's supposed to rain here tomorrow. I'm going to spend 20 minutes savoring the rain.

Oddly, the recorded voice of Lyndon Johnson, former President of the United States, sends me into extreme relaxation, no matter what the topic or his mood. It has a similar effect that Bob Ross has on me.

Tell me about something that you like to savor (I understand that sex or expensive alcohols can fall into this category, and that's fine, but you don't need to share, we'll assume those...) or something that you plan on savoring soon.

Fibrocartilaginous embolism (FCE) and Ralph

I promise that this is not becoming a medical or hypchondriacal blog. The diagram is helpful in explaining the past few days here at our home in Virginia.

A few months ago, I introduced our dog, Ralph (Rafe), who loves to play fetch with any sort of ball.

Tuesday evening, I arrived home from work to see Gabe and Ralph playing fetch in the yard. This is a heartwarming sight. All is right when you come home to this. Or Gabe is avoiding his homework. Just as I exited the car, Ralph lets out a painful yelp. We run to him. He is unable to move his rear legs.

We take him to the pet emergency room. We're told that Ralph has either a slipped disc, an FCE, damage from trauma, or an infection or tumor. He suffered no trauma. He was running and turning when it happened. He spent the night at the emergency center.

Jocelyn and I transferred him to a hospital early the next morning. After another evaluation and the same set of possibilities, we agreed to a myelogram to see if he had a bulging disc and would need surgery. The results came back around six pm on Wednesday. No slipped disc. It was probably FCE, but his spinal fluid was cloudy and yellow. They wanted to test for cancer.

We took the kids to see Ralph that evening. He was still recovering from the general anesthesia and look awful. Much crying ensued.

The next morning, I went to work. As I arrived, we received another call. Ralph looked to have a FCE. This was good news. If he had cancer, we did not intend on putting him through surgery and chemotherapy. His paralysis was suffering enough.

Ralph was discharged from the hospital yesterday. He is at home now. He has, they say, and FCE. This means that some of the pulpy substance in the center of one of his discs has penetrated the blood vessels surrounding his spine. That blocks the blood supply to the spine and leads to the paralysis.

Now that he is home, we're continuing to give him steroids to reduce the swelling around the injury. We're also performing physical therapy on him for ten minutes a session, six times per day. We move his legs through their full range of motion. The steroids and the stimulation should help the body build capillaries to bypass the blockage. When that happens, we'll see some signs of recovery.

We also have to feed him, make sure he drinks water, and I carry him outside for elimination. We have to keep him clean and groomed throughout this. I also turn him periodically so that he doesn't develop any bedsores.

It will be a couple of weeks before we see real improvement. If he fully recovers, it could take months.

Not that it is so important anymore, but Spring Break 2008 has been canceled for us. We'll be staying home and taking care of Ralph. Should he recover some mobility, we might take a day trip here or there.

Anyone been through this? I'd like to hear some uplifting stories. Thanks.

March, 2008: 101 in 1,001 update

Click on the newspaper to get a better look at the official March update.

030 - See a doctor about my wrist

There are times when I just have to admit that I'm stupid. I'm not talking about willful stupidity. Rather I mean true idiocy. I'm 44 years old and wisdom is still beyond my horizon.

Let's go back 12 or so years. I lived in Seattle at the time. I don't remember if Monica was born yet. Jocelyn might have been pregnant. For some forgotten reason, I was terribly frustrated, so I did what any stupid man would do in that situation. I took out my frustration on an inanimate object.

A smart person would have slugged a pillow or gone for a run. A wise person would have shrugged off the annoyance and gotten on with what is important in life. I punched a piece of furniture. The top of drawer of our chest of drawers to be exact. I hit it hard. The pain shocked some wisdom into me. (Though I have struck one more inanimate object since that time. Over the dog's behavior no less. But this post isn't about anger issues. Though that punch, about four years ago, certainly didn't help the present situation.)

After a few weeks of dull pain, I went to the doctor. From there I saw a hand specialist. By now I had a ganglion cyst on the back of my wrist. They're fairly common and mostly harmless. The hand specialist dismissed it as a simple cyst and said it would go away with time. A lot of money was spent for nothing. I had one x-ray and no MRI. To confirm my stupidity, though, I failed to mention that I punched a thick piece of wooden furniture.

Since that time, I have had a series of ganglion cysts that come and go. My wrist has been getting weaker, too. I'm right handed and I have trouble opening things with that hand. I have to open jars with the left. My wrist is losing flexibility. It cannot support my weight for push ups. I fear it will fail me when I do bench presses. I have to hold it at a certain angle to prevent sharp pain. It's also a very noisy joint (crepitation it's called when the joint pops or grinds when moved.)

So, of course, being supremely stupid, I've done what most guys do. I've lived with it.

But, as we shall see on this list of 101 things in 1,001 days, I want to return to a weightlifting routine. I'd like to do that without pain.

So, I've made an appointment in March to see my doctor, who I last saw at a checkup last year (where I stupidly failed to mention my wrist.)

Looking at the diagram, I believe that my injury is on the radioscaphoidcapitate ligament and the capitate and possibly the lunate bones are affected. The injury also causes problems (pain) all way across the wrist away from the thumb. This is why I think the lunate is involved. Things are either being pushed around by excess fluids, thus the cysts when I actively use my wrist for exercising or sports. Or things aren't in decent formation due to a weakened or injured ligament or a roughed up bone, which would explain the noise and the pain.

I'll post an update when I know. I'm just hoping that I don't have arthritis.

Anyone out there have a ganglion cyst that causing them trouble? What did you do about it?

093 - Organize all photos, digital and prints

In the good old days, we picked up our photos from a remote developer or a photo shop. They were stacked in an envelope with the dark negatives stored in a shorter pocket inside. We were limited by the size of the film role, usually 24 or 36, though we could sometimes squeeze an extra shot or two out of it.

Most of us--the normal ones, anyway--ripped open the envelope and rifled through the pictures. "Look at this one," was a pretty common phrase along with the variation: "Check this out." Then we put the envelopes full of photos in a shoebox with a promise to ourselves that we would have to load these things into a photo album.

Ahem...

Maybe I just dislike buying photo albums.

Then there is the situation such as the one at my parent's house. They have tons of old photos, most of them haphazardly stored in boxes, mixed like so much soil and gravel. A vein of their early years of marriage can be found, like a layer of sediment, only to abruptly end and a mix of color photos from Christmas in 1971 and my sister's junior high days in the 1980s dominates. You can sense there was once a rhyme and reason for the contents but it has long since been lost to browsers who were not privy to the system.

Not to fear, technology has created a wonderful cure: digital photos. Now we're only limited by the size of our storage cards or the memory on our cameras. We can review photos instantly, discard those we don't like, only keep the good ones, experiment with poses and angles and lighting and effects. Life is good.

Except now we have more photos than ever. And they're all over our virtual worlds. In fact, they might be more disorganized than the printed photos. If we don't have them stored somewhere besides our primary disk drive, we run the risk of losing them all...permanently.

Photos have never been more disorganized, unsafe, and plentiful as they are now. While technology is an enabler of this situation, it is also the savior. We can digitize everything. We can infinitely copy (assuming available storage) each photo.

Thus, task #093 on the 101 Things in 1,001 Days: organize all photos. Jocelyn and I will undoubtedly share this task. I'd like to organize all of our digital photos, digitize all of our old print photos, and archive (either online or to DVD or both) all of them.

This is a big task. Have you done this? Or are you one of those people that keeps everything nice and tidy?

I need tips, pointers, and lessons learned.

Twitter and tumblr

Two things (that are new for me) that I've been experimenting with are twitter and tumblr. First, I'll explain what they are, then why I'm even bothering, and why you might like to try them.

Twitter is for microblogging. Messages are text only and are limited to 140 characters. The "tweets" or twitter entries can be made via the site, sending text from a mobile device (like your cell phone) or via instant messenger.

People can sign up to follow you on twitter. When you post, they receive updates automatically. Sounds like a bit of overkill when it comes to keeping up with someone, but I can see how this could be useful when trying to coordinate a group and needing to broadcast information to multiple people (and receiving it from those people, also.)

I'm not worried about followers. I like twitter for it's quick notetaking aspect. I can text myself basically with any sort of feeling or observation. I have no worries about being verbose with a 140 character limit. These little notes help trigger memories without the seriousness of a journal or diary.

I've added twitter to the Happiness Notebook, where I've cleverly called it "a glimpse behind the curtain" and I removed the link to twitter. You can go to twitter and try it for yourself. You really don't want to receive a text message from me that says that "I'm at work on a Sunday."

If you do decide to follow anyone, twitter does provide controls so that you aren't inundated with updates or receive them during inconvenient hours.

The other toy I've been playing with is tumblr. This is a site that lets you maintain a "tumblelog" or tlog. Postings on a tlog are short and media driven. Photos, videos, quotes, links, short text entries, audio files, and chats are the types supported by tumblr.

It is exceptionally easy to use. I've created an RSS feed called "Happy Notes" right there on the right of this blog. Click on an entry and you'll be taken to my own tlog, which I intend to make a supportive, complementary, yet standalone version of the H-N. My tweets on twitter also end up on Happy Notes as short text entries. I could also automatically add a link to the tlog everytime I post here.

If you've thought about blogging, but aren't interested in doing all that much writing, then tumblr is a great alternative. Give it a shot and send me the link.

Tell me what you think of these sites and let me know of others like it that you use or prefer.

She loves me, she loves me not

But I think she loves me. Even if these are the candy hearts I received.

Every day should be Valentine's, don't you think? I don't mean wearing red and buying flowers and candy and going to dinners. I mean thinking about how much you love another person (or other people.)

It is one of my favorite holidays mainly because it offers a free pass to be goofily romantic. Anything goes on this day when it comes to professing your love. I say the sillier, the better.

Go ahead and kiss in public. Embarrass the kids if you got them. Embarrass other people around you if you don't. Wear matching clothes--Aloha wear in February is always special.

Oh, Jocelyn just brought me three more candy hearts to make up for the droll ones above.

Oh, she is the sweetest woman I have ever met.

Such poetry.

I don't deserve her.

I'm so touched that I can evoke such sentiment from her.

Happy Valentine's Day everybody.

049 - Spend a one-on-one day each month with Gabe

Sometimes the guys just have to have some serious guy time. Women reading this probably don't understand what I mean. This isn't bonding over shopping for clothes or shoes I'm talking about here.

No. This is about spending a day hiking, or driving go-carts, or playing laser tag, or going fishing, or visiting historic battlefields.

Gabe and I need more time without mom or sis around. This 101 thing in 1,001 day activity is meant to create the habit, for both of us, of planning and spending time together.

You might think, it's only one day per month, that isn't a big deal. Well, I'm talking about a whole day here, not a couple of hours. These are days when we leave the house early, go grab breakfast, and start exploring and doing stuff together. We won't be home any earlier than 4 or 5 in the evening. In the summer it will probably be later.

He's going to be 11 years old soon. He won't be young for long. We need to make sure we stay connected now. This is meant for me as much as him. I want Gabe to talk fondly of me to his grandkids.

And when we're out and about and we get tired, we can act like orangutans and lounge around chewing on some straw.

Sometimes the day gets away from you

Some days it's best not to have plans.

On those days, the best you can do is have a general guideline of where you'd like to go and what you'd like to do, but you agree to follow the current and let the flow of the day take you where it needs to go. We do this in the name of family, work, civic responsibility, etc.

Yesterday was a bit like that.

After getting my daughter off to school, I went to vote in the Virginia primary before heading to work. Like much of the country, the weather was windy and cold.

When I arrived at work, my calendar was magically full of meetings. Not just meetings, but working meetings. The kind where I can join via a conference call and continue working on other things. The kind where we're not talking about doing things, but actually doing things. And, in a few cases, the kind that had me as the discussion leader.

They were scheduled straight through lunch. No breaks. I had to arrive late at one of them in order to use the restroom.

Oh, I haven't mentioned that I skipped breakfast. My energy levels dipped to 4:15 a.m. levels by 1 o'clock. Luckily the one o'clock meeting ended after only 15 minutes. I could grab lunch before the 2.

But the cafeteria only had fried food. Eating a meal only from the salad bar was out of the question. So, I had to chance leaving the building.

By that time, it had been raining for a couple of hours and the temperature was nearing freezing.

A quick trip to Arby's turned into a long wait in the drive-thru for a sandwich and an unsweetened tea...I could've eaten a large curly fries. When I returned, it was 5 minutes after 2. My next meeting had started.

We had 4 points to cover in that meeting. When I arrived they were still discussing point 1. When I left at 3 for my next appointment, we were still working out the kinks regarding point 1. You know what a mix of guilt and relief feels like? Well, I do.

At 3, I was supposed to be at Virginia Blood Services, where I was donating platelets again. Normally, I donate at work, but they called and I felt compelled so I scheduled an afternoon appointment. I drove there, knowing I would be 15 minutes late, only to discover that they had moved into a new building that was only about 3 minutes from my office. Oh, boy.

I arrived at nearly 3:30. They did not hook me up to the machine until nearly 4. The procedure takes 76 minutes once it begins. I read old issues of Time magazine and last week's Richmond Style Weekly. They gave me Fig Newtons and water. I had finished off the iced tea on the circuitous drive to the new building. My blood pressure was nice 108/71, but my pulse, at rest, was 90. Lovely caffeine.

At 5:30, with numb lips from the anti-coagulent, I headed home. I would have just enough time to eat before we set out with Gabe for the middle school he'll be attending next year. They were having an open house for parents and kids, introducing them to the school and what middle school life is like in this particular program.

Arriving home, in the rain, in the dark, at 6:15 with only a roast beef sandwich and a couple of Fig Newtons in my system, I was starved. Everyone had eaten. I had kid leftovers of a small bowl of mac & cheese and a bowl of steamed broccoli.

Monica called from school at 6:20. She had stayed after to work on an orchestra presentation. They were performing at the open house at 7. She didn't have her informal performance polo with her and she would like to have it by 6:30. We live 15 minutes from school. We hurried and arrived by 6:45.

From that point, we listened to a variety of presentations from students, teachers, and administrators. We heard music from the orchestra and later, the band. We had Q&A sessions with students, went on a tour of the building with the kids, and had a long conversation with Monica's orchestra teacher.

We made it home at 9:30. Monica was starving. By the time we settled down, cleaned up and went to bed, it was well after 11.

Some days fly by and you have no control. Yesterday felt that way for me.

But I am glad that I didn't have to play rugby in the mud.

Why I could never be a movie reviewer

There was a time when I would see practically every movie that was released. Whether they were good or bad, or so nondescript that they might not ever be viewed again, I paid my for matinee ticket and went to the cinema.

If you see a lot of film, you start thinking that "Hey, maybe I could write movie reviews." I thought that, but never acted on it. Now, I'm glad I didn't.

Here are my reasons why:

1) Most movies just aren't very good. They have about as much value as the typical television show. They aren't worth the time for the reviewer or the filmgoer.

2) Movies that are considered "good" usually, these days, contain strong imagery that sledgehammers you over the head with its goodness.

3) Escapist comedies always run the risk of containing some form of scatalogical humor, which I detest and which, unfortunately, lingers in my memory for the rest of my life. I'll never forgive the makers of Ladies Man, for example.

4) Obviously, a reviewer has to spend time at the cinema, subjecting him or herself to the law of bad movie averages and then he or she has to come up with a coherent review of a likely incoherent movie. Or even worse, come up with something to say about a so-so movie.

I can't subject myself to gross out humor, or tense situations involving a gun and the potential for graphic violence. I can't separate myself from realistically cruel depictions of life, such as movies regarding the Holocaust.

While horror movies used to be my thing, today I find them tedious. There scares come from very loud noises and things jumping out from the dark. I just don't feel like sitting through these things, watching characters make very stupid choices.

And, we should probably not talk about the stupid choices made in so-called chick flicks. Sometimes two stupid people deserve each other. These types of movies provide the fantasy situation where it actually happens. Typically, these people wind up in terrible relationships and marriages with mismatched partners. If we're lucky, we too can find someone stupid enough to love us. I don't need these types of movies.

Wow, this post has a decidedly negative vibe. Let me remedy that. But first, a quick restatement of this post's purpose: I couldn't be a movie reviewer because I cannot tolerate the thought of subjecting myself to movies that will likely be uninteresting and valueless at best or contain images that will be indelibly stamped in my psyche at worst.

Now the upbeat part: I am so appreciative of the fact that there are people who review movies. They reduce my risk and save my money with their takes on film. Thank you, movie critics.

Plus, I love movies. Even the ones that make me uncomfortable, I can still appreciate for the artistry and effort that went into making them.

Those movies that I love make it all worthwhile. I like making lists and ranking things. I love a lot of movies and if I had to make a Top 10 list it would change depending on the season, my mood, and my current interests. Here's a look at what it might be today, in no particular order:

1) All About Eve
2) Patton
3) Glory (probably a consistent Top 10 for me)
4) Singin' in the Rain (except that silly dance daydream sequence...sheesh)
5) The Sixth Sense
6) Evil Dead 2 (probably another regular Top 10)
7) Blade Runner (this one, too, would be a regular on this list)
8) The Princess Bride (and this one...maybe I could make a Top 10)
9) Little Miss Sunshine
10) Once Upon a Time in the West (if Henry Fonda is the bad guy, it has to be interesting, if not good)

What movies do you like? Whose your most trusted movie reviewer? I trust, but don't always agree with, Roger Ebert, as I have for going on 30 years.